


remember those walls i built [eruri drabbles]

by queensmooting



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Drabble Collection, Fluff and Angst, M/M, canonverse, now a lot of canon divergence apparently lmao this is hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 08:09:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 24,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6230761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queensmooting/pseuds/queensmooting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shorter Erwin/Levi fics from my tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. (fluff)

**Author's Note:**

> exactly what it says on the tin. feel free to send in requests any time <3
> 
> galpalpetraral.tumblr.com

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lenszer brilliantly asked for a fic of the first time erwin sees levi smile and i couldn't resist

Erwin is meeting with Mike and Hange in his office when Levi comes in without knocking, letting the door creak to a slow half-close behind him. Hange greets him politely enough but Mike’s hackles rise. Erwin senses it the way these things are sensed when formative training years are spent together and bonds are forged with bruises in the shape of sparring knuckles. Pack mentality, he supposes.

“Can I talk to you?” Levi asks, limbs flexing like he’s ready to break into a run. His eyes shift to Hange and Mike momentarily, and the _alone_ is an implication none of them need to voice.

The lethal pulse in Levi is mitigated by grief, but Erwin doesn’t need it to know he has nothing to fear from him. Levi came to him. Not Commander Shadis, not anyone else. Erwin is sure is means something, even if he doesn’t know the minutiae of it all yet. There’s a lull in the winter between expeditions, and Erwin imagines he’ll have time to figure it out.

Hange gathers bundles of paper under their arms before standing and Mike follows close behind them, watching Levi as if he doesn’t like what he smells. 

Levi doesn’t seem to notice. He takes in the walls of the room like they’re a cage and he’s waiting for his chance to spring free. It seems odd, then, that he only begins to relax after the door shuts behind Mike and Hange.

“Is he like that all the time?” Levi asks, taking Hange’s vacated chair across from Erwin. “Or does he only feel the stick up his ass when I’m around?”

Erwin coughs to cover up his laugh. Levi watches unsympathetically, one eyebrow raised and both arms crossed like a barrier to his heart. The ice and snow from the window casts a pale light on the room, makes everything pellucid. Erwin can see the veins in one of Levi’s wrists, blue and beating hard.

“He’ll grow on you,” Erwin promises, tearing his eyes away from Levi’s skin. “What do you need?”

“A grower, is he,” Levi mutters, quietly enough Erwin can pretend he didn’t hear it. 

Then he unfolds his arms, eases back in his seat. Levi, who’s been standoffish and surly since the beginning, sparks into a tirade that takes Erwin by surprise. It sounds like everything Levi’s been keeping inside since he joined, and Erwin lets him gesture wildly, lets him complain about the slowness of the laundry, the trainees that tend toward lackadaisical, the fungus in the corners of the bathroom floors. He spends an inordinate amount of time deriding the men he share the barracks with, and Erwin has to bite his lip against amusement.

“And he smells like the end of a damn skunk,” Levi says. “Looks like one, too.”

His eyes are fixed something outside the window over Erwin’s shoulder. Erwin wonders if Levi remembers he’s even in the room.

“Which end?” Erwin asks.

Levi’s eyes shift to him and they’re wide in what Erwin thinks is alarm. Then Levi’s lips part in a genuine smile, one that shows his slightly crooked teeth and fine eye wrinkles. Somehow it only makes him look younger, and there’s a pull in Erwin’s navel that feels like yearning. Yearning to know Levi better, to make him smile again, even when Erwin’s barely processed this one. 

“Didn’t know you were allowed to joke,” Levi says. 

He scratches at his hair and his smile falls like a clipped string, but he’s more relaxed than he was when he first came in. Erwin thinks something’s changed in the air between them and hopes he isn’t imagining it. Levi let himself be seen with the smallest of vulnerabilities, and it’s not much, but it feels like trust.

“Squad leaders are allowed one joke per month,” Erwin says. “It’s part of Zackley’s new budget plan.”

“What do commanders get?”

“Two a month, though you wouldn’t know it the way–”

He breaks off. Criticizing Shadis, even in jest, isn’t something he does around anyone. Erwin reminds himself of restraint, despite there being something about Levi that makes him want to give confidence. Erwin sees Levi’s smile behind his eyes when he blinks, and he wants to trust Levi with the life he almost took.

Erwin absentmindedly touches the scar on his neck. _Maybe someday_ , he thinks, knowing too well the murkiness of somedays in the Survey Corps.

“I can see about giving you access to the laundry so you can work at your own pace,” Erwin says, and Levi sits straight. “And I’ll mention cleaning supplies at our next budget meeting. As for the rest…maybe someday this office will be yours and you can train your men as you please. And have a space of your own, of course.”

Levi scoffs. “Like I’d ever get promoted. You’re the only one here I get along with, and look what I’ve done to you.”

He leans forward, just enough to brush two small, rough fingertips over Erwin’s scar before sitting back. Erwin stiffens his shoulders to keep a shiver down.

“It’s not just teamwork, Levi. Your skills are invaluable. We’ll need you if we ever want to change anything.” 

Levi crosses his arms again, looks at his knees and withdraws into his earlier protective stance, but Erwin sees a light blush spread under the dark sweep of his hair. Levi mumbles something that could be a thank you, could be a curse, then jumps to his feet.

“Anything else?” Levi asks, and Erwin wants to laugh at the idea that he called the meeting himself, instead of Levi gliding in as if he’d always belonged in Erwin’s office.

“That’s all,” Erwin says. “I’ll let you know about your requests.”

Levi crosses the room to open the door, then pauses, his fingers drumming on the frame.

“I knew there was a reason I didn’t kill you,” he says, and another smile crosses his face, quick and small as a leaf skittering across his path. It’s still there as he goes, as the door clicks and creates a silence that suddenly feels lonelier without Levi.


	2. (extreme fluff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mary (erurisms) asked for a baby peeing on levi. it got schmoopy.

“Shit,” Levi says, and grabs more wipes before Erwin can make a crack about that not being entirely correct.

The baby seems blissfully unaware that she’s leaked on Levi’s freshly-washed jacket, but he’s dealt with enough mess in his life to handle this without crawling out of his skin. He washes her down, secures a new diaper, and sheds his jacket, letting it drape over the back of a chair. Levi wonders what kind of laundry system Historia’s got here, wonders how quickly he can access it.

“Take a hit, did you?” Erwin asks. “I know something about traumatic injuries, I can give you advice–”

“Shut the fuck up,” Levi says, biting his lip against laughter.

It was his idea to bring Erwin along on his latest visit to the orphanage. What began strictly as a business trip ended with Historia putting them to work, and neither of them could deny the queen they placed on the throne.

Levi rolls up his sleeves then picks up the girl. He doesn’t bother pretending he doesn’t like how she snuggles against his shoulder, already on the verge of sleep. He doesn’t have to bother when there’s no one else around, no one he doesn’t trust with his spare scraps of vulnerability.

Erwin’s seated and facing the window, where soft threads of setting sun are bleeding into his hair, all shades of gold. Levi gets away with watching for a valuable handful of seconds before Erwin shifts his head, meets his eyes.

Levi doesn’t remember having a heart this tender before Erwin but he supposes it must have been there all along, waiting for a moment of peace to reveal it. Erwin gives him peace when he can. It comes in sparse, uneventful instances, but Levi tucks them away like something precious. Erwin leaves him welcome to invade his space, to drop in unannounced and complain about his day, to scrub and clean until his lungs have room to breathe. Their quiet moments have filled Levi’s cracked and broken spaces over the years, left him feeling close to whole.

The last month has forced him to think too often where he’d be without Erwin, so Levi allows himself to look at him a second longer.

“Hey, sit back,” Levi says then.

He goes to stand in front of Erwin’s chair, uses his free hand to push at Erwin’s shoulder until he complies.

Erwin’s eyes widen momentarily when Levi flips the baby around and rests her against Erwin’s chest, hands gentle as eggshells. Levi’s set her so Erwin doesn’t have to use his hand to prop her up but he does anyway, an extra layer of protection.

“Can’t believe we’re being forced into this,” Levi says. He kneels down and gives the baby a few careful back rubs, feels her breathing relax. It’s silent for a few minutes and Levi is struck with the normalcy that seeps into his bones. He thinks this is what it must be like for people whose routines don’t involve body counts.

“Just terrible,” Erwin mumbles, barely audible. The warm light and warm air is making them all sleepy and Levi would pinch him if he could muster the energy.

The far tip of the horizon darkens, blurs enough that Levi can imagine the walls are trees. He imagines the titans are gone and they don’t have to fight anymore. He imagines a world where Erwin’s father never died, where Erwin could grow up without the weight of a guilt too heavy to allow dreams of a real future.

Levi lets himself think he could have what he wants, and what he wants is this. He closes his eyes. He breathes in Erwin, and clean baby smell, and the woody scent of what’s become a home for the kids. He takes it in until his chest aches with what he can’t have, then he opens his eyes.

“Don’t let her sleep there too long,” Levi says, voice a blade-thin whisper now. “She’ll shit on you.”

“Why, did you not fasten the diaper right?” Erwin pops one eye open, offering Levi a small smile.

Levi grumbles, wordless for a moment. “Of course I did. I’m a natural at this.”

“Then there’s nothing to worry about.”

Levi figures he’s done enough wishing for the day, so he doesn’t bother wishing Erwin’s words were true. Erwin shuffles back some more, closes his eyes.

“Guess so,” Levi says, and rests his cheek against the arm of the chair. He wonders if Historia will be in later, then wonders if he imagines a hesitant touch in his hair before he’s accidentally dozing in their own patch of light.


	3. (pining)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the way you said “i love you” + a whisper in the ear  
> requested by goddamnchou <3

Sometimes Erwin will look up just in time to see Levi turning away, with a jerk of his head and the slightest hint of color in his face. This happens too often for it to be a coincidence. It’s only when he realizes this that he also realizes there’s something more, something he’s been missing. The reason Levi alone remains at his side when they return from an expedition, when no one else can meet Erwin’s eyes.

Levi’s a naturally caring person, with far more heart than he lets on. But Erwin makes a career out of noticing what others don’t, and Levi doesn’t look at anyone else like this.

Erwin feels the same way, has for years. And there are days when it’s harder than usual to ignore it.

Like now, in his office, when Levi’s slumped on the sunlit couch with a letter held over his face, reading it out loud in a breathy imitation of a nobleman’s accent. Every time Erwin laughs Levi flicks his eyes over, takes in Erwin’s face with unusually thoughtful smiles.

Then Erwin hunches over his desk to answer the letter, and it’s quiet but for the scratching pen and Levi shuffling paper. Erwin doesn’t look up again until he realizes he hasn’t heard any noise from Levi in several minutes.

Levi’s dozing on the couch, head tilting back on the armrest and cravat undone, his right hand curled in a loose fist over his heart like a salute. Levi, who used to carry a knife around Erwin and would sleep with his eyes open if he could. Erwin’s still in awe, sometimes, of how far they’ve come. 

The creamy patch of sun on the couch looks inviting, and Erwin wants so much of what Levi would gladly give him.

The bend of Levi’s neck looks uncomfortable, and it’s enough of an excuse to let Erwin rise, cross the room and kneel in front of Levi. He slips a hand under Levi’s head and shifts him down off the armrest, bringing him to rest horizontally on the couch cushions.

Levi’s breathing doesn’t change so Erwin’s hand lingers for a moment, thumb shifting against the prickly hair at the base of his skull, the soft skin at Levi’s nape warm like his heart.

Erwin inches closer, until Levi’s hair is a ghost against his nose, then he stops. This close he can smell him, like clean laundry.

“I love you,” he whispers, because like anything cooped up too long it needs a moment in the sun.

Erwin stands then, eases his hand out from under Levi’s neck. 

For a minute he entertains a notion, imagines telling Levi again one day when they were both awake and free to love, with no obligations but those of their choosing.

Then he turns his back and returns to his work, tucking his affection back in his heart where it’s made a secret home.


	4. (angstish)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the way you said "i love you" + in a letter & in a way i can't return  
> requested by ongzori!

Levi knows it’s useless even as he sits against the wall to write. The letter could by some miracle get to Erwin in time and there was still no guarantee it would be delivered. Levi could almost see a member of the MP holding it between his fingers, taunting Erwin before hauling him to the gallows.

The knowledge should have made him braver. It should have been easier for Levi to bare his heart in words if he knew Erwin would never read them. Instead his hands shake, and he has to grip the pen until his knuckles turn white to make his writing legible.

He’s immersed in words when there’s a sound on the other side of the room. His head jerks up, every nerve on edge. Mikasa’s standing, looking out over the others, all nestled in blankets. Levi considers telling her to rest but he knows she won’t. Not while Eren’s out of reach, his future hanging by threads none of them can see. 

He understands, so he says nothing. 

Rain falls loud on the thin roof of their hideout for the night, an abandoned house outside Stohess. There’s been too much blood today, the human kind that won’t disappear on its own. Half the eyes he sees peeking out from their blankets are still open, wide and distant. Levi remembers what it felt like to kill too young and he has to steel his heart, remind himself they chose this.

He looks down at the paper held flat against his thigh, full of slow and precise penmanship. His mother taught him his letters decades ago but it wasn’t until the Survey Corps that he learned to put them together. There was Mike going through books with him between training sessions, Hange quizzing him until it was far too easy. There was Erwin gently correcting him over his shoulder, his hand warm over Levi’s as he demonstrated a more comfortable pen grip.

None of them ever made him feel like a child for it. He wonders where they are tonight, if they’re dry and unharmed.

Levi signs the letter, pulse rattling down to the tips of his fingers. He knows Erwin won’t ever read it and he feels sick, chest twisting in a premature grief he isn’t ready for.

“Captain!” Mikasa says, tense enough that Levi’s on his feet before he can think.

There’s movement outside the window, dark shapes blurred by the rain.

 _They found us_.

“Everyone up,” Levi says sharply.

He folds the letter, two careful creases, and stows it in the inside pocket of his jacket, ink and paper guarding his heart. Then he goes for his blades. 

It was always a long shot anyway.

*

_Erwin,_

_Things are shit on my end, though I guess I shouldn’t complain considering where you are. Let them know that if they hurt one hair on your pretty head they’re going to have to deal with me. I like to think I have enough of a reputation now that they’ll let you go._

_It doesn’t feel real, what they’re planning on doing to you. Maybe that’s why I’m able to keep doing my job._ _You’ll talk your way out of it, right? Hell, you’re the one who talked me into this mess. I swear, you can do anything with your words. So y_ _ou get out of your clusterfuck and I’ll get out of mine, then let’s give ourselves a vacation. We’ve earned it._

_Oh, and I guess there’s something you should know. I love you. You probably figured that out already, but I know what words mean to you. So here they are. You give me hope, and I love you. No one’s ever made me feel the way you do, OK? And I don’t think anyone else ever will, so you have to come back. You’re irreplaceable, dumbass. Don’t ever forget it._

_And don’t die before I can tell you in person, or I’ll bring you back and kill you again myself._

_If you run into Nile, give him a swift kick in the ass for me. I’ll see you soon._

_Yours,_

_Levi_


	5. (smut)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the way you said "i love you" + with no space between us  
> requested by hashtag-eruri!
> 
> **NSFW**

Levi could hardly tolerate his clothes being touched by anyone else, let alone his skin. He can never be sure where a person’s hands have been and it makes him shudder to imagine.

But he’s sure of Erwin, whose word he’s never been given reason to doubt, who only makes him shudder in ways warm and wonderful.

If hands are unclean then mouths are worse, but Erwin’s is a dream now between his legs, slow kisses and soft bites at his hips that have Levi torn between wanting him to hurry up and wanting it to never end. He feels safe here, in Erwin’s bed, being touched by the only hands he’d ever submit to.

When Erwin finally takes him into his mouth Levi’s hands fly to Erwin’s hair as he gasps, forgetting himself. Erwin allows it for a moment before his eyes dart up to meet Levi’s, hot and warning. He sits up and Levi barely stifles a whine at the loss of his mouth.

Levi drops his hands from Erwin’s hair and Erwin grabs them, links their fingers and shifts up on the bed to pin his hands down beside Levi’s head.

“Hold still,” Erwin says, leaning in and nipping beneath Levi’s jaw, making his breath hitch. “You can do that, can’t you?”

Levi nods jerkily, tilting his head back for Erwin, who exhales slowly against the skin he’s left warm and wet.

“Good.”

Erwin kisses him where he’s sensitive beneath his ear, just once before moving back down his body. Levi’s still achingly hard and it’s a relief when Erwin puts his mouth on him again, less gently than before.

And Levi doesn’t have to worry about anything when they’re like this, not the war, not the fear of disease, because there’s no question of it when they’ve only ever belonged to each other. He doesn’t have to worry about what might be under Erwin’s nails when he digs them into Levi’s thighs to pull him closer. 

There’s only Erwin’s mouth, and the low hum from his throat that vibrates through Levi, electric in his spine. There’s only the heat tightening in his abdomen, and how good it feels to have someone to whom he can give all of himself.

Then Erwin increases his pace without warning, making Levi’s back arch off the bed, and one of Erwin’s hands slides up to his stomach to push him down again.

“Fuck, Erwin, you’re–” _Going too fast. Too good_. Levi can’t find a connection between his brain and mouth so he doesn’t say any of it, just twists his hands in the sheets and turns his head to muffle his sounds against his wrist.

When he comes he’s whimpering high-pitched, his eyes shut tight and his own voice barely audible through the rushing blood in his ears. Erwin continues to work him through it, swallowing until Levi goes boneless, his limbs slumping in a sleepy sort of bliss.

Levi’s eyes are still closed when he feels Erwin lay half on top of him, pressing his lips against Levi’s neck softly. He finds enough energy to raise a hand to Erwin’s hair, gently carding his fingers through the strands. A fondness swells in his chest, and he gives it voice.

“I love you,” Levi breathes, a thoughtless sigh.

It takes a moment for the haze in his mind to clear, for him to register Erwin stilling above him, then smiling against his throat.

“I know, Levi,” he says, slow between kisses.

Levi hardens his grip on Erwin’s hair and yanks his head up, glaring at him.

“Ah,” Erwin says, giving him a pained smile. “I love you too.”

Levi pulls him in and kisses him on the forehead before letting him sink back down, safe against his shoulder.


	6. (angst)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the way you said i love you + when i am dead  
> requested by iwasborntoshiperuri
> 
> major character death warning for this obviously lmao

Erwin always knows when he’s wrong. In the moment he may not admit it, but he knows. He know whens a formation he arranged isn’t meant to last the second before it falls apart in the field, and it takes him longer to realize he was wrong about love. It takes him well over a decade.

He’s not quite twenty when he thinks he knows what love feels like. Her name is Marie, and she sets his heart skittering with a brush of her fingers. It’s easy and puzzling, and it’s gone in an instant when they each make their choices. Erwin joins the Survey Corps and he misses her for a while. Then, when he’s old enough for reason, he wonders if it’s the idea of her he misses. When they meet again at a function years down the road, Erwin has to admit he hardly knew Marie at all.

It’s well over a decade, and even then it’s years more before he realizes what’s grown slow between he and Levi. Because this time everything is different.

With Levi it’s not easy, because they don’t come together like youths free with their affection. With Levi it’s not puzzling, because he knows him like he’s never known anyone, down to the meaning in every quirk of his mouth. Sometimes it’s like he can hear Levi’s very soul just by looking at him, and it’s never been like this.

Erwin’s known losing him was a possibility ever since recruiting him to his cause. So he steadies the piece of his heart that wants to be soft, like he has to with all the rest.

But Levi’s not like the rest, and has little patience for Erwin’s pretenses. He rattles at the walls Erwin puts up around himself, with endearingly poor humor and a gruff sort of care that makes Erwin want to open up. Levi looks at Erwin like he’s worth believing in and Erwin lets his walls crumble, only for him.

When they leave on an expedition for the first time after Erwin falls for him, he knows he was wrong before. He had no idea how love could choke like fear in his throat, could make him want to rearrange his priorities just to keep Levi safe. 

He doesn’t, of course, because they know what they signed up for, and he’s fighting for something bigger than both of them. But he wants to, and it makes all the difference.

Levi sees the change in Erwin’s face when they return from the expedition. The other squad leaders leave his office when dismissed but Levi lingers, silent and thoughtful through the whole meeting. Erwin rises to go change but Levi stops him, just by hooking one finger through Erwin’s.

“You…”

Levi doesn’t say anything else but his eyes are wide, roaming slowly over Erwin’s face. It’s the only time Erwin regrets letting him in so completely, because now he knows he can’t hide anything from him.

“You know we can’t,” Erwin says. 

“I know,” Levi says automatically, though his lips purse slightly, enough for Erwin to tell he was hoping to hear something else. “But you–”

“I do.” He swallows. “Very much.”

Levi looks at him for so long Erwin can feel his resolve bending, and wills it not to break. Then Levi lets his finger slide away, taking a bit of Erwin’s breath with him.

“Alright then,” Levi says, and finally turns away. “Want some tea?”

Levi stays until the light steals from the room, and their tea grows cold when they get lost in conversation. They don’t talk about being in love with each other again. They let it exist between them, like a promise they can only try to keep.

It’s never been like this.

After Levi dies with nothing to bury Erwin calls a meeting in his office, like he does after every expedition. He dismisses the squad leaders after it’s over, and no one lingers.

There are so many pieces of Levi around the room it’s like he’s still alive. He can see Levi’s hands in the precise folds of the wool blanket covering his couch, the cup only Levi ever used clean on the tea set in the corner.

Erwin’s gaze settles on a place where Levi once stood and linked their fingers together. He stares until his eyes grow tired and dry, until ghosts flit into his vision like spots of light.

“I love you,” he says, voice hoarse. It’s years too late but he says it, because he doesn’t feel it any less now that Levi’s not around to hear it.

There’s too much he wants to say, too many dreams he’s realizing will never come to be. They’re the sort of naive hopes of a world after war he only ever shared with Levi. Erwin will have to keep them to himself now, he supposes. His heart already feels heavier with their weight.

“I love you,” he says again, because he should have said it before.

Levi’s gone, and Erwin knows it’ll never be like this again.


	7. (hurt/comfort)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not prompted or requested, i just had to deal with chapter eighty somehow. hope you all are surviving this lol

For Erwin there is darkness, the kind that weighs pleasantly like a blanket in the weary hours. Then there’s light beyond his tightly-shut eyelids. There’s pain, and a taste in his mouth he can’t imagine ever being rid of. It’s blood, and something too close to flesh. He runs his tongue over his teeth and there’s nothing there, but he can’t shake the feeling.

Then there is sensation that’s nothing like pain. There’s warmth at the crown of his head, and a slow tingle that brings him closer to the light. He can’t quite gauge time but it seems like years before he realizes it’s a hand, with small finger tips spreading over his scalp.

Erwin doesn’t have to look to know, and the sudden welling of safety he feels threatens to send him back to sleep.

“Levi,” he says, his own voice soft and muddy in his ears.

There’s a short intake of breath, and the fingers in his hair still before withdrawing completely. Erwin would pull them back but his limbs feel too sluggish to move an inch.

“Hey,” Levi says, the smallest of tremors in the greeting before he sounds like himself again. “Welcome back.”

Erwin’s eyes become unglued, and as he blinks more details become clear. He’s lying on his back in a moving cart. There’s daylight but it’s grey and fading fast. There’s Hange’s voice calling out orders up ahead, and Erwin remembers the swell of relief when they rejoined the fray, unharmed save for the streaks of blood that always seemed to suit them anyway.

Levi is sitting at Erwin’s right side, legs folded under himself and hands clenched in white fists on his knees.

“Erwin, do you remember anything?”

There are images then, flashing into his mind so suddenly it’s like he’s feeling the wounds again. There’s a snap as his body is nearly crushed in two by titan teeth. There’s the ground flying up to meet him, and he remembers what it felt like to bleed this much, the raw throb at the stump of his arm.

There’s Levi, always Levi, rushing to his side while tearing the cap off a needle with his teeth. The memory delivers clarity to Erwin’s mind like a pinch, and he tries to sit up.

“Don’t even think about it,” Levi growls, pushing him back down by the shoulders. “We’re moving onto the next phase and you need to rest up. Going by the way Eren gripes about it, turning into a titan isn’t exactly easy.”

It’s one thing to hold the memories, another entirely to hear it in words. 

There’s too much beating at his brain, about the Beast Titan and the basement and memories that aren’t his. Erwin needs a minute, just one, to feel conscious enough for it all. So he reaches only for what is easy, what’s come to be the one easy and sure thing in his life.

“Levi,” he says. 

“What?”

Levi’s hardly blinking and his eyes haven’t left Erwin’s, like he’s afraid he’ll lose him again if he looks away. Erwin wants to tell him he’ll never leave, make promises he can’t keep, if only to chase away the fear Levi lets him alone see.

“You,” Erwin says, and there’s a swim in his head he has to close his eyes against before continuing. “You would have given yourself up for me.”

“The hell are you talking about?”

“Before we rode out. To the Beast Titan. You said–”

“I know what I said.” 

Erwin opens his eyes in time to see Levi finally glancing away. Levi waits for a moment, drawing a pattern on the wood of the cart, then sighs.

“Of course I was going to save your ass. You’re important.”

“I’m replaceable.”

“You’re not, not to the damn mission and not–you’re not replaceable, not to m–”

Levi cuts off, purses his lips and turns away completely, dark hair hiding the honesty in his eyes. It takes Erwin’s breath from his throat, but even in his haze he remembers Levi needs space to grow.

So Erwin turns his attention to his right arm instead, looking at his regenerated fingers like a fond old friend. He flexes them a few times, uses a breath to give him energy to smile. Only then does he reach for Levi.

When he links their hands Levi makes a choked sound that could be a laugh, could be something else, but Erwin’s vision is clouding again and he can’t see Levi’s expression.

“Thank you, Levi.”

It’s silent, and Erwin still isn’t certain of time’s flow, but it feels like ages before Levi gives him a quiet response.

“You’re not replaceable.”

The cart’s still moving toward its destination so Erwin closes his eyes again, lets himself sink under the pull in his mind and the gentle squeeze at his right hand.


	8. (extreme fluff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the way you said "i love you" + loud, so everyone can hear & through a song  
> requested by anonymous

Levi won’t drink but he likes watching the others make fools of themselves, so he goes along to the tavern. He sits next to Hange, making conversation on a stool that won’t let his feet touch the floor, at a table too sticky for him to put his hands on. It’s surprising, then, that he feels so content.

The tavern is all warm browns and flickering yellows, raucous conversation mellowing as the sun disperses and soft lamplight takes its place. Levi lets his stiff leg rest on a support bar under the table, lets everyone else’s mood infect him until he doesn’t have to convince himself he’s relaxed.

As night descends someone finds an old guitar behind the bar, one string missing but otherwise intact. Hange lets slip that Moblit can play and it’s not long before the poor man is shoved to the front, eyes pleading for help even as he smiles.

“Hey,” Levi calls across the room.

It doesn’t get anyone’s attention but Erwin’s, and it’s not meant to. Erwin excuses himself from his conversation and turns like he’s always been tuned into Levi’s voice.

“Help the kid out,” Levi says, jerking his head at Moblit.

“He’s not a kid,” Hange protests. “Don’t make me feel like a creep. He’s not a kid, everyone!”

Levi, smirking, watches Erwin as he’s heckled into going to the front of the room with Moblit, rank giving way to common camaraderie. They both settle in and Moblit begins to play, looking a little pale even after being loosened up by drink. Moblit could always hold his liquor better than any of them, and Levi supposes he has Hange to thank for that.

Levi recognizes the first chords as an old wedding song he remembers hearing muffled through church glass. It’s propaganda, more about the Walls than marriage, but Moblit keeps stealing glances at Hange and blushing, so Levi can’t help feeling a little forgiving.

Then Erwin starts singing, somewhere beneath Moblit’s voice, and Levi clenches his jaw to keep it from opening. His voice is low and lovely, reverberating in Levi’s fluttering chest. The guitar isn’t completely in tune and it sends them off-pitch but Levi’s still captivated, every cell of his blood warm. He wants to get Erwin home immediately. He never wants to leave the tavern.

Erwin mostly stays restrained, nodding encouragingly at Moblit when he misses a chord and otherwise betraying little. Then for the end he looks up, finds Levi’s eyes toward the back.

 _“By Sina I will love you_  
By Rose I will love you  
By Maria I will love you  
As long as they shall stand”

“Oh wow, do you think he’s looking at _me?_ ” Hange whispers, a breathy tease.

Levi pinches their ear, not taking his eyes away.

Erwin’s gaze doesn’t move either, even as Moblit finishes and the building bursts into cheers. Levi feels fidgety but no one else is looking at him now, and the dark glow of the tavern doesn’t give away the heat spreading high in his neck.

Erwin mouths something Levi doesn’t quite catch, but he thinks he understands.

They’re the first to leave shortly after that, pursued by Hange’s jabs about  _pathetic old men_. 

*

“Why didn’t you tell me you could sing?” Levi asks when they’re outside. “You could’ve warned me, shit.”

“Technically, anyone can,” Erwin says. “If you have vocal chords and you can move them, you’re already halfway there.”

He’s fighting a smile, like he does whenever he knows he’s provoking Levi.

“Whatever,” Levi says, deciding to ignore him. “It’s just too bad the song’s a little outdated.”

“I don’t know. I think the essence remains.”

“Ugh, you _would_ say that.”

Levi slips his arm through Erwin’s, tugs him down enough to give him a lingering kiss at the corner of his mouth.

“When did you become such a fucking sap?”

You know when.”

“I do,” Levi says, and can’t resist nudging his head against Erwin’s shoulder once before letting him straighten up.

Erwin lets his hand slip down to take Levi’s and Levi entwines their fingers, because there’s nothing left to hide from. They walk with their arms pressed warm and close. All is silent but for the ocean at their side, glittering black and white under the sand dollar moon.


	9. (smut)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drabble series from the kink prompt generator challenge!
> 
> NSFW

  * _writing on the skin + first times_



Levi’s lying on his stomach, head tilted to the side on his folded arms, watching Erwin. He’s propped on his elbow beside Levi, tracing letters on the span of Levi’s shoulder blades.

“That one is…” Levi remembers the trail Erwin’s fingers took. “’Maria?’”

“Good.”

Levi shrugs. “Too easy.”

Erwin tries another word, smiling when his nails pass over Levi’s spine and cause him to shiver. This one’s harder and Levi concentrates on each letter, threading them together in his mind.

“Is it ‘maneuver?’”

“ _Very_ good,” Erwin says, and Levi bites his lip at the praise.

There’s a moment before Erwin writes the next word, a moment Erwin spends looking at Levi’s face, taking in each feature methodically. His eyes are on Levi’s when he finally writes the next word. Levi loses track of the letters somewhere halfway through, frowns into the crook of his elbow.

“Do it again?”

Erwin repeats the motions, and this time it clicks.

“Ah, ‘beauty.’”

“Mm,” Erwin says, and bends to kiss Levi’s ear, which flares with heat moments later.

“Ugh,” Levi says, burying his reddening face. “Come on.”

Erwin continues to trace his back, aimlessly this time. He lays down.

“Would you stay here tonight?”

Levi blinks in surprise, then shifts his arms, taking the pillow in a comfortable hold. The thought of leaving like he usually does pains him a little more now. He can smell Erwin around him when he closes his eyes.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

  * _cross dressing + sex with clothes on_



Levi’s in matching blacks, from his sweater to his thigh-high socks to the panties Erwin can’t keeps his hands away from. Levi’s hips rock up into the touch, searching for more, and Erwin lets his thumbs drag down the front of the panties before he shifts back between Levi’s legs.

He runs his nose along the inches of thigh available to him, then his lips, then his tongue. Only when Levi whines and buries his hands in Erwin’s hair does Erwin turn his attention to where Levi’s hard in his panties. It’s straining, but it’s a comfortable strain, not painfully restrictive like jeans. So Erwin leaves them on, working at Levi’s length through the fabric, alternating between mouthing and sucking.

Erwin loves how Levi shakes beneath him, loves how hard he is to hold down when he’s this close, loves how he comes warm and wet in his panties with a gasp that’s nearly a sob. Erwin doesn’t let up until Levi goes completely still, then he moves up to hover over him, watching him catch his breath. Levi blinks slowly up at him, smiling lazily, and they stay like that for a long moment of comfort.

“Want some lunch?” Erwin asks.

“Yeah, just.” Levi breathes out, half a laugh and half a sigh. “I need a minute.”

Erwin kisses the slice of collarbone over the neck of Levi’s sweater, then goes to the kitchen. It’s a few minutes later when Levi comes out, in the same socks and sweater. He’s changed into a different pair of panties, bright pink.

“We ought to buy _you_ some,” Levi says, giving Erwin’s ass a smack as he goes to the kettle.

  * _pampering + attention (treating someone specially in front of others)_



“Remind me of your name?” Erwin says.

“Jean Kirstein, sir. I was asked to come give a report and I, uh…”

Jean trails off, eye caught by Levi turning to glare at him like he said something perfectly stupid. The captain’s sitting on the edge of the hospital bed the commander’s been forced to reside in since losing his arm. Jean walked in while Levi was in the middle of shaving Erwin, which feels terribly intimate to Jean, yet neither of them seem put off by his presence.

“I can come back later,” Jean says, desperately hoping the offer will be taken. “If it’s more–”

“Spit it out, Jean,” Levi says. He adjusts the blade in his grip and leans closer to Erwin’s throat, carefully scraping then wiping the blade on a towel thrown over his shoulder.

“Go ahead,” Erwin says, and Jean swallows.

“Squad leader Hange has been looking into recent developments regarding the true nature of the titans, and–”

“Tilt your head this way,” Levi interrupts. “Don’t make me do all the damn work.”

Erwin turns to Levi. Just then something of the guarded commander falls away in his eyes. He looks slightly amused by Levi, whose scowl softens minutely. It’s a subtle change, and it’s enough for Jean to feel like he’s interrupting something more important than he can understand.

“I’m sorry,” Erwin says, all professional once more. His eyes go to Jean but his head remains pointing toward Levi. “Continue.”

Levi mutters something in Erwin’s ear, and Erwin covers up a laugh with a hacking cough. Jean could almost regret Armin saving his life.

  * _knife play + power imbalance_



It’s their last night in Erwin’s room before it becomes Hange’s. Before they leave, to strike out on their own in the widening world. There’s boxes around them and no walls outside.

Levi pushes Erwin down on the bed and Erwin wants to remind him they have all night, something they never had before. Then Levi pulls a small knife from his boot and Erwin’s words falter, uncharacteristic.

“Levi, what–”

“Tired of unbuckling all this shit,” Levi says, scowling at the straps of Erwin’s gear like they’re smears of dirt. “You don’t need it anymore, so why not?”

Erwin can’t argue with that, so he doesn’t. Levi stares at his face, waiting for any sign of disapproval, then cuts through the chest strap in one fluid motion. It doesn’t leave a thread out of place on his shirt.

“I can hear you thinking,” Levi says, moving down his body and slicing away straps with care. “You’re still worrying about how this place is going to carry on without you. It’s making it hard for me to concentrate.”

Levi gazes up at Erwin, the knife handle playing between his fingers. It’s supposed to be dangerous, but Erwin trusts him too much to do anything but smile, relaxing under the attention.

“You don’t have to worry,” Levi says with a low, quiet ferocity. He cuts the last strap on Erwin’s thigh, lets his hand linger there. “You’re not the commander anymore. Now you’re mine.”

The words are absolution. Something tightens in Erwin’s chest even as the rest of his body feels light with relief. Levi shifts up and leans in close, reaching for Erwin’s tie.

“Wait,” Erwin says, seizing Levi’s wrist. “Hange’s going to need that tomorrow.”

Levi’s eyes are wide and dark when they meet Erwin’s, like he’s been pulled from a dream. Then he smiles, all teeth, catching a flash of light quick as a blade.

“Still keeping me in line,” Levi says, and drops the knife to kiss him, both hands framing Erwin’s face.

  * _immobilization + sexual frustration_



Levi twists his wrists, lying on top of one another above his head. Every long lick and hard suck of Erwin’s mouth between his legs brings him near the edge of release, but Levi knows better. He tries not to let Erwin know how close he is, how close he’s been for what feels like eight lifetimes. But Erwin knows his every tell. When Levi gasps high in his throat, when his hips stutter desperately in Erwin’s grip, it’s then Erwin pulls off him, slowly enough Levi can feel every bit of denial seep in.

Levi swears loudly and lets his head fall back hard against the pillow. He wants to move his arms, wants to grab at Erwin’s hair, to pull him up and bite him and make him feel his frustration. His knees shake uselessly, knocking into Erwin’s sides, but his ankles remain rooted to the bed.

Erwin finally takes him into his mouth again, and Levi nearly cries out with relief. It only lasts a few seconds before Erwin pulls away again.

“Erwin, I swear to god, _please_ –”

“Hey,” Erwin says, gently enough to make Levi focus after a few seconds.

He brushes Levi’s sweaty hair off his forehead, leans in to kiss him there.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Levi knows, has always known somewhere secret and all his, but hearing it out loud slows his frantic heart. It’s why Erwin never had to properly tie him down. He could, and Levi would still feel safe, but he doesn’t have to.

“Are you going to hold still?” Erwin asks.

Levi nods. Erwin doesn’t hesitate, this time burying his face in the crook of Levi’s neck and aligning their hips to slide together in gratifying friction. Levi squirms at the torturous pace but doesn’t move his unbound hands, putting his trust in Erwin once again.


	10. (fluff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think chapter eighty-one actually physically broke me. so gentle fluff is all i have anymore. here u go.

Erwin blinks awake when he feels something nudging his knee. The air’s thick with warmth and Levi’s peering down at him, details that make Erwin think he could still be dreaming. Then Levi’s settling directly on top of him on the couch, winding his arms around Erwin’s neck and making himself comfortable.

“Need something?”

“Just you,” Levi says, half mumbled like he hopes Erwin won’t hear. “Go back to sleep.”

It’s part of the shift in the world since the war ended, the way they don’t have to be shy about how much they’ve always relied on each other. The light through the window is yellow with early spring and makes Levi’s hair look soft. Erwin pushes it out of Levi’s eyes, tucking what he can behind his ear.

“You’re heavier than you look,” Erwin says, even as his left arm circles Levi’s waist to hold him there. His hand slides up Levi’s shirt to rub his back, alternating between small circles and long strokes. The tension drains out of Levi slowly, and with it comes more of his weight, but it’s a pleasant warmth.

“If I’m crushing your ribs or something let me know,” Levi says after a while.

“I’ve had worse.”

Levi tilts his head to glare at him. “Do you have to be so morbid?”

“It’s not so bad now, is it?” Erwin says. “I think the biggest threat we have these days is Hange’s dog.”

Levi snorts, nuzzles his head a little closer. “I swear, that thing stumbled into their experiments. Nothing has that many teeth naturally.”

Levi loosens one of his arms to take Erwin’s right hand. He looks at it calmly, so far from the first time when he’d pulled Erwin from his titan form, both of them wide-eyed and shaking. For Erwin it _feels_ like the first time again, every nerve newly alive as Levi slides the back of his fingertips up his palm. The light brush of his nails makes Erwin shiver.

“Is your arm still sensitive?” Levi asks. “It’s been years.”

He lets his hand trail up to Erwin’s elbow, looking pleased at the small goosebumps he leaves in his wake. He takes Erwin’s hand, kisses the pulse in his wrist, then lets their fingers link loosely. It’s silent for a few minutes, and Erwin thinks Levi might have gone to sleep until he speaks again.

“The window’s open,” Levi mumbles. “Bugs are gonna get in.”

“One of us will have to move to close it.”

“Hm.”

Levi doesn’t say anything more about it, and Erwin lets the drowsiness of the air take to him. Everything’s fuzzy and light and he feels younger than he deserves, young enough to remember his early years in the military. In those days he thought the singular love of his life had already come and gone. In those days, he resigned himself to that knowledge.

He never could have imagined this.


	11. (fluff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eruris + sense

Levi sleeps silent as a shadow but wakes with a grunting snore, eyes wide like he’s surprised to still be alive. Then he settles again, a scrunching of eyelids under the advancing sunlight. He’s on Erwin’s pillow, so close Erwin can see where his hair tangled overnight. Levi’s eyes shut tighter when Erwin’s finger catches in a knot of hair over his forehead, snagging and releasing.

He hears Levi grumble something in the radius of _good morning_. Erwin enjoys trying to piece together meaning from mumbles. He hears his name spill out at the end. Erwin never used to like his name, finding it unattractively quaint, but Levi gives it a gruff hint of accent and he can’t help but feel a thrill. Levi is all prickly half-thoughts when he wakes but Erwin knows how he softens through the day. He knows how Levi watches him fall asleep. He knows the gentle words and promises Levi mutters when he thinks Erwin can’t hear. Erwin keeps them safe, folded away in his mind and heart, like Levi’s kept him safe all these years.

Levi shifts like he’s going to roll over, back beginning to arch like a bow. Erwin touches his side, and it’s all it takes to convince him to stay. Levi’s fingers trail lightly up and down his arm now, disappearing inside the short sleeve of Erwin’s shirt before traveling to the pulse of his wrist. It’s touch that still takes Erwin’s breath away sometimes. It’s touch that reminds him he isn’t daydreaming work hours away as in years past, imagining some idle future with Levi that could never come to pass.

This close Erwin can smell him, and this too reminds him he doesn’t have to dream anymore. Levi smells clean as their freshly-washed sheets and sleep-warm in the dip of his collarbone, the bend of his neck against the pillow. Erwin buries the tip of his nose there and Levi holds him to it, sighing something bleary about his cold nose as he scratches lightly at Erwin’s scalp. There’s a hint of sweat from the early summer heat, and smoke-scented ghosts of last night’s cookfire. And there’s salt, prevalent, where it was once a rarity behind the walls. It fills Erwin’s mouth when he breathes and puts a rough curl in the ends of his hair when they walk on the shore. Erwin’s still getting used to abundance. Erwin’s still getting used to feeling Levi’s breath in his hair, the smell of him all around. He never dreamed he could have so much.

“What do you want?” Levi asks.

Erwin smiles at his teasing. Levi tries to hold him tighter but Erwin pulls back, just enough to take him in. He catalogs the details, the shallow wrinkles at Levi’s eyes and the single strand of silver in his hair, archiving like Erwin hasn’t been given a long remainder of years to relish this. Like they haven’t been given everything.

“Nothing,” Erwin says.

Levi huffs at the fondness on Erwin’s face. Erwin finally bends to taste, to kiss Levi where his flush reaches the corner of his mouth, spreading like sunlight.


	12. (fluff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lovely commenter konakona wanted to see some eruris aware of each other's feelings. this is SO overdue but life's been bananas, sorry about that <333

“Why don’t you ever go home?” Levi asks.

Erwin reacts slowly, like the words are taking the scenic path to his brain, too absorbed in the written proposal on his desk.

“Home?”

He looks up at Levi, squinting in the afternoon light beginning to darken toward evening. Levi wonders if he’ll need glasses one day, with all the strain he puts on his eyes. Something in him twists, the part that reacts whenever Levi thinks of Erwin’s future.

“Yeah, home,” Levi says. “You know. Your house. The one you have.”

“Oh, that one?”

Erwin’s smiling now, pulled from the quicksand of his work.

“It’s easier to sleep in the next room,” he says, nodding toward it. “Lets me get back to things quicker.”

“But wouldn’t it be nice to…not? Sometimes?”

“Not…get back to things?”

Someone else might have laughed at Levi’s way with words, but Erwin was all patience. Levi fidgets impatiently at the swell of affection in his chest.

“Walking to work in the morning could clear your head,” Levi says. “Give you time to think over plans before throwing yourself into them. Stop and smell a rose or whatever shit they say.”

He watches Erwin consider every word, thoughtful, and maybe a little touched. Levi’s never gotten used to it, that the man who could change the course of the world looks at him like this.

It takes another five minutes for Erwin to wrap things up, then Levi meets him at the door with their jackets.

“You’re coming too?” Erwin asks. “I don’t want you to have to walk back by yourself.”

“It’s only a mile. And someone has to fend off all your secret admirers.”

Erwin laughs and looks at the floor, scratching the back of his head, looking too close to shy for Levi’s heart to handle. Then they go.

*

“Nile will be here for a meeting in the morning,” Erwin says when they reach the street. “So I should be back early.”

They pass civilians closing up shop for the evening and preparing to head home. The weather’s right for it, on the tail end of summer and still light out. Levi can’t help thinking it’d be lighter longer without the walls.

“You mean his people aren’t dragging you up north for once?” Levi pauses to step on a leaf in his path. They were never quite so crisp below ground. “That’s a relief. About time someone else loses time and sleep.”

“You don’t have to worry so much about me, Levi,” Erwin says, though he sounds pleased. “I’m used to it.”

Levi grumbles something like a denial, but there’s no point when Erwin knows how he worries. How he feels. They don’t talk about it, both agreeing it’s for the best. But Levi sees the way Erwin’s eyes will linger when they have a moment to let their minds trail to the things they want. It’s enough.

They walk through town side by side. Some greet them in the street, others narrow their eyes, and most ignore them entirely. Erwin nods and smiles at the greetings, never asking or expecting Levi to do the same. He turns to Levi sometimes, tight politeness softening into something genuine, and it feels like Erwin’s telling him a secret.

Levi thinks they don’t belong here, and he tells Erwin so.

“Then where, Levi?”

Erwin’s looking at him with too much curiosity, and Levi has to pull him by the arm to keep him from walking into a bicycle parked on the road. The street is too busy and there’s too much noise. He has to strain his neck for a slice of sky.

“Somewhere else,” Levi says.

Erwin follows his eyes upward.

“Somewhere else,” Erwin agrees.

There’s an elderly couple ambling in front of them, their thin hands linked. Levi lets go of Erwin’s arm and aches to the tips of his fingers.

Erwin’s house blends in with the others around it, brown and sensible. Levi watches him unlock the door, the tired sag of his shoulders and the summer in his hair. Summer, and something else. Levi reaches up to pluck it free.

“What is it?” Erwin asks, turning around. His cheeks are flushed with the air.

“Just a dumb leaf,” Levi says, holding it tightly between his fingers.

Erwin smooths back his hair, mouthing a quick _thanks_. He stands in his doorway and Levi braces his hands against the frame and then neither move.

“I’m sorry you have to go. I wish–”

“I know.”

They hover like that for a moment on opposite sides of the door frame, Levi’s hands pushing back slightly against it, against the magnetic pull he feels.

“Go get some sleep,” Levi says, eyes darting away from Erwin’s face to the house behind him. The living room is an unacceptably disorganized stack of charts and books. Levi would have to come back over soon to stay.

“I will.”

“And you better get back before Nile gets here. Do _not_ make me talk to him alone, I’m begging you.”

Erwin places two fingers on Levi’s jaw to bring back eye contact. His thumb passes over Levi’s mouth and takes a bit of Levi’s breath with it. He thinks about what it means. For a moment he lets himself picture a someday where he comes home with Erwin every night. He leans slightly into Erwin’s touch.

Levi doesn’t feel strong when he’s undone like this, but it doesn’t bother him so much. They call him an instrument of war, and when he craves peace he finds it in Erwin.

“Good night, Levi.”

Levi frowns, pulling back. “So was that a yes? You’ll be back before Nile?”

Erwin, too calm, raises his hand in a goodbye before closing the door slowly.

“Fucker,” Levi whispers. He keeps his head low to hide the smile he can’t shake, twirling the stem of the leaf in his fingertips.


	13. (technically fluff but is anything fluff anymore)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey. i was gonna go on a twitter spiel about how levi and erwin changed each other's lives but it was gonna be too many tweets so i decided to just. fic my feelings. idk i'm hollow you guys lol. i hope both me and levi wake up from this nightmare soon

There’s a time of night when Erwin knows the work is over. The moon flies too high to see and makes the hours blur. Levi rubs at his face and shakes his head, black hairs catching blue in the light of the candles and stars. They spend more time watching each other than their work, and when the fifth meeting of eyes in so many minutes makes Levi break into something close to a giggle, Erwin knows it’s time to call it quits.

“Want to go running in the morning?” Erwin asks as Levi stands to leave.

There’s a lack of equilibrium when he moves, something he means to correct before they set off for Shiganshina. Levi consistently jogs at his right side now and Erwin feels him there like a phantom limb regrown, a counterbalance.

“I’m meeting with Historia,” Levi says. “She wants to start bringing up kids from the underground.”

Erwin smiles. He knows what this means to Levi. “That’s good news.”

“But if you can wait, it shouldn’t take long. I’m gonna tell her about documentation and shit the kids need. Then I’m all yours.”

Levi pauses when the words come out, and his gaze skitters away. 

Erwin knows why. He denied it for years, but he knows. In the late hours, when he’s sedated by the comfort of Levi’s presence, he lets himself wish they could have this.

He watches Levi gather his things from the side of his desk with fitful fingers. In the busy daylight he’d never think of taking Levi’s hand, to reassure him. It crosses his mind now, a fancy passing quicker than a night of sleep.

“Take your time tomorrow,” Erwin says. “The meeting is more important.”

Levi looks up and considers him for a moment. He smiles, a soft flicker in the candlelight.

“What is it?” Erwin asks.

“It’s stupid.”

Levi folds his papers into his crossed arms and leans a hip against Erwin’s desk. He glances down at the space by Erwin’s hand, a smile still visible when the shadows grant Erwin the sight.

“Just thinking about those kids. Probably’ve never seen the sun properly.” He fiddles with the edge of one of his papers, lets it wobble under his fingertip. “I’d probably still be down there if it wasn’t for you.”

Erwin frowns.

“Give yourself some credit, Levi.” A memory stirs, and he nearly smiles. “You managed to steal gear right from under our noses. You could’ve managed to escape.”

Levi huffs a laugh through his nose. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’m glad it happened, however it did.”

“I am, too. If I didn’t have you I’d–”

Levi meets his eyes so suddenly it stops Erwin’s breath, the way his mouth goes just slack enough for it to be noticeable. Erwin swallows, the click loud in his ears.

He thinks of the man he met, with sharpness in his voice and his hands and his eyes. Sometimes he can’t reconcile that angry force with the man standing at his side.

Levi’s gaze falls and his mouth quirks. “You’d probably get more work done without someone nagging at you all the time.”

 _You’re the only relief I get_ , Erwin thinks, too tired to stop the thought.

Levi pushes off the desk and goes around the back of Erwin’s chair. He touches Erwin’s chest to make him look up at him, a moment too lingering for a friendly pat. 

“Get some sleep,” Levi says. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Wait for me?”

“Alright,” Erwin says, and swallows again.

Erwin watches him go and raises his remaining fingers to his chest, pressing his fingertips to the warm spot Levi left against his heart.

“I’ll wait for you, Levi,” he says when the door clicks.


	14. (fluff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because this interview always kills me http://yusenki.tumblr.com/post/141836483282/au-smartpass-erwin-levi-close-up-interview

“So what’d you say about me?”

Levi’s in a good mood. It’s a day off and Erwin remembers the soft joy of sleeping in that morning. The mud-slow stretch of muscles, the way they settled and resettled in sleep, in each other’s arms, like birds nestling in their own feathers.

Erwin lands on the couch with a sigh and Levi follows, hovering above him. His head absorbs the sunlight from the window at his back, casts his black hairs in brown. Levi doesn’t rush to join him on the couch, and Erwin can’t blame him when they’ve been afforded a rare bit of time to savor. Their day together is a rented gift, save for a quick spot of morning business with a journalist.

“Nothing particularly interesting,” Erwin replies, his tone a light bait.

Levi’s eyes are everywhere but Erwin’s, and it takes a calculating moment to realize why. Erwin remembers a passing comment–“ _god_ , you should wear civilian shit more often”–and he’s grateful Levi misses his smirk.

“Can I borrow this?” Levi asks, sliding his finger down Erwin’s arm. The fabric of the suit jacket bumps against his skin and he shivers. “Hange wants me to come with them when they give their presentation tomorrow, so.”

“You know you don’t have to ask. It’s yours.”

“Well then. If that’s how it is. I’m borrowing this.”

Erwin scoots forward when Levi slides his hands up his chest, moving over his shoulders to slip off the jacket. Levi folds it carefully over his arm, then plants a hand on the couch beside Erwin’s head. He moves closer, until Erwin can feel the rush of his eyelashes against his cheekbone.

“What’d you say about me?” Levi repeats.

Erwin hooks a finger behind Levi’s knee. “Mostly good things.”

Levi scoffs, unsmiling but for the dark sparkle in his eyes. He straightens up and sets the jacket on the nearest chair, taking only a moment to smooth a wrinkle. Then Levi gives into the pull at his knee, puts a leg up on the couch.

“You know what I think of you,” Erwin says. “I’m sure you can imagine.”

“You tell him I shit moonshine or whatever that was you said last night?

Levi’s already turning red so Erwin coaxes it out, pushes hair away from one side of his face and lets him glow.

“I believe,” Erwin says, pressing kisses to his cheek between spots of low-toned praise. “What I said, was you look nice at night. The starlight suits you.” He pauses, considers Levi’s heating skin. _As does the sun_ , he thinks. “But no, shockingly, I didn’t tell him that. This is just for us.”

“Yeah,” Levi says. His voice has gone a little breathy, and Erwin smiles against his cheek, moves behind his ear. “Save telling people for if you ever wanna get us fired one day. Maybe before the next expedition. I–ah–hate going out in October.”

Erwin laughs, muffled where Levi’s skin is unweathered and soft. Levi slides close, rests on Erwin’s thighs and tilts Erwin’s chin for a kiss. He’s gentle today, an unhurried hand trailing down the length of Erwin’s neck to his collar. It’s quiet but for chatter in the training yard outside and their mostly closed-mouth kissing. Levi wraps his free arm around Erwin’s shoulder and squeezes like he can’t help the affection. It makes Erwin’s chest swell and his thoughts wander–to the interview, to the public’s perception of Levi, how unjust it is that the world must see a killer and a criminal and a sadist–

“Hey,” Levi says. “Where are you?”

Erwin meets his eyes and smiles apologetically, tracing the shape of Levi’s puffing lips with his finger.

“Sorry. Just thinking about you.”

Levi raises his eyebrows, nonplussed.

“Well I’m right here. C’mon. We don’t have all day to–” He snorts. “Oh shit, we actually do.”

He leans in again. Erwin lets him kiss him for a moment before taking Levi’s hips and nearly flipping their positions, laying Levi down on the couch and crawling over him. It draws a whispered and shuddering curse out of Levi, who immediately pulls him down again. His skin is warm and his mouth is warmer. Erwin wraps both his arms around Levi’s waist, drawing him as close as possible, spreading his hands over his lower back.

After a minute there are shouts outside the window, far below. Levi tenses only when Erwin does, twisting his neck a little to focus. The shouts grow in alarm, wordless. For horrible seconds all they can do is catch their breath. Air and panic swarm Erwin’s lungs.

Then laughter, then Moblit’s distinctly dismayed cry, then–

“They’re playing a stupid drinking game,” Levi groans, head falling back on the couch. “Shit.”

Erwin‘s breath breaks free, rushes out as if pulled by gravity. He lowers his head to Levi’s shoulder.

“I thought–”

“I know,” Levi says, the words fast as his next kiss to Erwin’s temple, a desperate diversion. “I know. We’re alright.”

Erwin’s spent his career striving toward the best and fortifying against the worst. Whenever a young face runs his way with an urgent notice in hand, he prepares. Just in case.

 _Perhaps Wall Rose has fallen, alright, Mike handles evacuation notices, word must be sent to Mitras, there’s a letter prepared in my desk, will Levi be able to find what I left him, how much food can be harvested from the fields before they’re gone, before everything’s gone_ –

“Erwin.”

Erwin lifts his head and Levi grabs his face with one hand. He gives Erwin’s cheeks a squeeze, making his lips pucker.

“Look at you,” Levi says. “I was right. Your kids would be gross.”

The way Levi makes himself laugh, always at the oddest whimsies, helps the needling anxiety in Erwin’s chest relax, then disperse. Levi’s perfected the art of the ridiculous distraction over the years, and Erwin loves him so much he aches, stronger than his fear.

Then Levi lets him go, only to card his hand through Erwin’s hair. He angles him down to kiss his neck, starting soft. A hint of tongue makes Erwin shiver, a sudden sucking bite draws a gasp. Erwin smiles, closing his eyes. He lets Levi torture in the only manner he likes, only a sadist in the sweetest way.


	15. (fluff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an anon asked for confess or kiss from this prompt list http://lesbiansashablouse.tumblr.com/post/149221973156/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-prompt
> 
> and i went with both \m/

Levi asks for a minute alone after the debriefing. Mike and Hange would have hesitated, years ago, when they didn’t trust him around Erwin empty-handed let alone with blades at his side.

Today they clap him on the shoulders, smile as they both shuffle from the clearing on weary legs. It’s been an excellent expedition and spirits are high on their last night out. Erwin looks years younger when he turns to Levi, folding Hange’s reports.

“Zero fatalities,” he says. “Can you believe it, Levi?”

Worry curls in Levi’s stomach. They still have to make it back tomorrow, and he’s outlived too many good things to believe they can hold.

Erwin kneels to tuck papers into his pack, bright-eyed in the starlight. He looks up at Levi with those eyes now, wide and trusting, and just like that Levi doesn’t have to lie.

“Yeah,” he says. “Course I do. You’re leading us, aren’t you?”

Levi leans back against a tree, watches the way shyness sends Erwin’s smile lopsided. Days of wind and rain have threaded wildness through his hair, and strands tumble loosely when Erwin shakes his head.

“You’re sweet,” Erwin says.

The word sends Levi’s eyebrows up, a snort through his nose. “Sweet.”

Erwin doesn’t respond. Just closes his pack. Just continues to look happy. Levi thought he had something to discuss with Erwin, but nothing seems quite as important as this, now. Erwin’ enthusiasm bleeds into him, infectious, dizzying.

“We’ve been lucky, of course,” Erwin says. “Few titans, cold weather to slow down the ones we do see…”

Levi shakes his head. “Nah. You made all the right calls. You always do, Erwin.”

Erwin straightens up. He looks at Levi, and his exuberance softens into something fond. Levi crosses his arms to give his restless energy somewhere to go.

“I couldn’t do this without you,” Erwin says.

“Couldn’t do what?”

Erwin lets the question drift, and the monument of things unspoken grows between them. He comes close, his eyes somewhere around Levi’s shoulder.

“Levi,” he says gently. “You–could I touch you, just for a moment?”

Levi swallows, surprised. He wants to say _you don’t have to ask_ but he loves, loves that Erwin does anyway.

“Yeah,” he tries to reply, ends up mouthing. 

Erwin rests his hands just above Levi’s elbows and leans down, kissing him softly between his brows. Levi goes still, too shocked to close his eyes, arms muscles twitching over his frantic heart. Erwin’s lips are cool from the night air but his breath is warm when he pulls away a centimeter, fanning over Levi’s eyelashes and making them flutter shut. Levi exhales, relaxing. He’s thankful there’s something holding him up.

“I’m going to repay you,” Erwin says, leaning back enough to look in Levi’s eyes when they open. “One day, when all this is over. Whatever you want, I’ll make sure you have it.”

Levi remembers the rest of the world then, his face filling with heat out to his ears. He takes a quick peek over his shoulder to make sure Hange or Mike hadn’t lingered. 

“Alright, alright. Well what I want now is to clean up so I can sleep without growing mold. That okay?”

Erwin laughs and drops his hands. “As you wish.”

Levi wants to pull him back, wants to pick and sift through Erwin’s mind until he finds the place where Erwin keeps his words. Then maybe he could find the words to tell Erwin how simple his wants have become. How singular.

He watches Erwin leave the clearing, steadying himself on the bark of trees with his fingertips. Levi’s heart is still rattling in his ribs, the skin between his brows tingling. He tips his head back against the tree when Erwin’s out of sight, takes a shaking breath. 

 _Whatever I want._

Bursts and swirls of starlight blink back at him as he remembers the happiness in Erwin’s eyes, his light steps. Then Levi pushes away to wash up at the stream. He’s gentler than usual when he scrubs at his hands and face.


	16. (hurt/comfort)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> taking ask prompts on tumblr, dyze-jonze asked for eruri + hush from this list http://lesbiansashablouse.tumblr.com/post/149221973156/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-prompt

A low grunt wakes Levi well before dawn. He switches from sleep to full consciousness quick as a catching spark. Erwin’s shoulder muscles are twitching behind Levi’s own, a few fingers flexing aimlessly.

Levi unwinds himself from Erwin’s arms and sits up on the bed, leaning down toward Erwin’s face to gauge the nature of his dream. His full lips are pursed thinly and drawn down, eyebrows furrowed tight. A bad one, then.

“Hey,” Levi whispers, trying to bring him back as gently as possible. He grazes two fingertips down the side of Erwin’s face, following the line of his hair. “Hey, c’mon. Wake up.”

Erwin inhales sharply through his nose, jolting once under Levi’s hand. Then he sits up. He looks at Levi like he’s never seen him before, eyes round in the dim grey-blue light. Then his gaze softens and he looks at Levi like he’s the best thing Erwin’s ever laid eyes on.

He presses firm fingers to the side of Levi’s neck, where his pulse rolls slow with sleep. Then Erwin’s hand slides over the collar of Levi’s shirt, splays wide and warm over his heart. He sighs, head falling forward onto Levi’s shoulder. Erwin tries withdrawing a moment later but Levi wraps his arms around him, pulling him back with him to sit against the headboard. Levi holds him close, blood humming with a protective energy.

“You can tell me about it.” Levi strokes Erwin’s hair, slow and careful with the thick tangles between his fingers. “If you want. You’re safe, okay?”

“I just don’t know if I can keep _you_ safe.”

Levi’s hand stills. “What are you talking about?”

Night sounds trickle in to fill their new silence. There’s the hum of electric appliances in the house, a refrigerator running. A car drives by on the street outside, a crunching roll of tires in no particular hurry. The red glow of the bedside clock ticks toward three-thirty a.m.

Erwin’s still quiet, his mind catching up with reality. Levi helps him along.

“It was the other life.”

Erwin’s fingers curl against Levi’s chest, then he nods. “You’re right. I’m sorry. The dream, it–confused me.”

When Levi doesn’t interrupt, only continues threading fingers through his hair, Erwin continues.

“I was back there. You were grabbed by a titan across the field and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t favor you. I had to let you–I couldn’t–” He slides an arm around Levi’s middle, hugging him tight. “I used to have dreams like that a lot, back then. So I thought…”

Levi doesn’t say anything for a minute, barely moves. Erwin’s forehead is pressed against Levi’s neck, the steadiness of his pulse, and Levi lets it comfort him before speaking again.

“There’s nothing to worry about anymore. We’ve got the nice, boring-ass life we always deserved. And…I know what it’s like to lose you.” Levi has to pause, breathe deep, swallow the wave of old grief. “I’m never going to let you go through that. You know that, right?”

“Levi, I’m sorr–”

“If you say the ‘S’ word to me one more time you’re sleeping on the couch for a month.”

Erwin sits up a little, looking down at Levi. The corner of his mouth twitches, and Levi feels a rush of relief.

“What, ‘shit’?” Erwin says innocently.

“That’s right.” Levi takes Erwin’s face in his hands, bumps his nose against Erwin’s. “So watch your damn language.”

Levi gives him quick kisses until they’re both laughing, gives him slow kisses until their minds go fuzzy with interrupted sleep, until the dream is forgotten and their heads find peace on the pillow again.

When Erwin wakes again at seven he shares a dream of blueberry pancakes. Levi rolls his eyes, barely concealing a smile as they stumble out of bed for the kitchen.


	17. (fluff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> deal-with-baby-korma asked for "tickle" from this list http://lesbiansashablouse.tumblr.com/post/149221973156/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-prompt

Levi doubts anyone else would notice the idiosyncrasy that reveals Erwin’s nerves. It’s the day of his official promotion, and Zackley is waiting on the other side of the door with formalities. Only Erwin’s mouth gives him away, the way he purses and unpurses his lips like he’s practicing a speech. They have five minutes left, and Levi can’t take it anymore.

“I can hear you sprouting wrinkles from here. What are you worried about?”

“I’m not.”

Levi frowns. He thought they were past this point, and he breathes through a swell of frustration.

“You know you’ve got this, right?”

Erwin smiles wryly. “You mean, today? Or being commander?”

Levi sighs and stretches. He goes to where Erwin stands by the window, his hair disappearing into the rising sunlight. He stands before Erwin and silently curses his own clumsy words, his meager ability to reassure this man. Levi settles for a quick squeeze of his wrist, a shadow of what he wishes he could do.

“You’ve got this,” he repeats, eyes on the relative smallness of his fingers around Erwin’s wrist. Levi lets go and meets Erwin's gaze.

“Alright,” Erwin says, softly, like he believes him.

Levi touches the small of his back to nudge him along. His fingers trail over Erwin’s tailbone, and he feels a twitch before he pulls away. He could swear there was a rush of noise from Erwin, shockingly close to a giggle, but Levi doesn’t have time to analyze it before they open the door. All he sees is a more relaxed Erwin.

*

He forgets it for a while. Until they’re sparring before dawn, alone in the training yard. With a well-timed sweep of his legs Levi lands Erwin on his stomach. He immediately lays himself out flat over Erwin’s back, holding him down.

“Give up?” Levi pants in his ear.

They’re been at it for an hour, releasing pent-up energy after a night of work. Erwin makes a non-committal sound and Levi tuts, shaking his head. He presses a hand against Erwin’s tailbone to push himself to his feet. Halfway there he hears a small yelp from Erwin. Levi freezes, crouching.

“What the hell was that?”

“Nothing.”

Levi hesitates, then brushes his fingers over the spot again. A laugh rushes from Erwin’s nose, his muscles jump. Levi’s mouth drops in a slow smile.

“Erwin, are you–”

He’s cut off when Erwin suddenly sits up, twisting and rolling them until Levi’s on his back, forearms pinned tight in Erwin’s hands. Levi sees the move coming seconds before it happens but he allows it, just to watch amusement play in Erwin’s eyes, the twist of his lips.

“Am I what?” Erwin asks slowly. His face shines with exertion, catching in the first light through the trees.

“Oh, nothing,” Levi says, his smile wide and wicked.

This time Erwin’s little weak spot sticks to his mind.

*

It turns out Levi has weak spots too, and Erwin learns to exploit them one by one. There’s the inch of skin behind his ear that makes his knees go weak, the space below his ribs that makes him gasp when caught unaware. Erwin skirts his fingers there once when they thought they were alone, and the sound of laughter from Levi was enough to make a poor recruit’s face drain of color.

Levi watches Erwin in meetings, thinks of the ways he can unravel the man who offers the world deliverance. Spots on their skin glow like secrets, and he hides an infinitesimal smile behind his own report.

*

Levi rests his chin on Erwin’s left shoulder, gives the open file in Erwin’s remaining hand a quick scan.

“So it’s true, huh?” Levi asks.

Erwin’s sitting up fully in his hospital bed, Levi filling the space behind him and kneading a massage into his upper back.

“It seems so. Every piece of new evidence is supported by Hange’s earlier findings. The titans have been humans all along.”

Even after nearly a week unconscious Erwin sounds exhausted. Levi sweeps his thumbs in soothing circles under his shoulder blades, and Erwin sighs.

“Levi, I’m sorry if my reaction unsettled you.”

“You didn’t–”

“It’s alright. I saw your face. It’s a lot to take in, and I understand if–”

“Hey, listen to me.”

Levi tilts Erwin’s chin toward him, waits for their eyes to meet. He thinks for a moment, plans his words, arranges them into hesitant lines before he speaks.

“Maybe this changes things for the war, but not for us. You’ve never given me any reason to lose trust in you. Do you trust that I’m with you now?”

Erwin looks at him so carefully, so considerately, that Levi knows whatever he hears will be the truth.

“I do,” he says. “Always.”

“Good.” Levi kisses the newly shaved line of Erwin’s jaw, then releases his chin. “Now shut up and let me finish.”

Levi’s hands smooth down Erwin’s back, still tense despite his efforts. Then half a playful thought turns corporeal in his mind. His palms lift until there’s only nails on skin, trailing lightly toward Erwin’s tailbone. Levi relishes the way Erwin’s spine arches in surprise, the genuine laugh startled out of his tired lungs. He wraps one arm around Erwin’s waist to keep him from squirming away. It’s a drastic measure, but Levi’s heard too little of Erwin’s laughter lately. He’ll take what he can.

After a few seconds he relents, and feels Erwin relax back against him. Levi leans his head on his shoulder.

“I’m with you,” Levi says. “Even if everything is going to shit.”

Erwin lifts his hand to clasp Levi’s own, draped loosely over Erwin’s heart.


	18. (fluff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an anonymous asked for "unrequited" + "important" from this prompt list http://lesbiansashablouse.tumblr.com/post/149221973156/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-prompt

The night lashes Levi’s face when he steps onto the balcony. It shocks with its sudden coolness, stings, then soothes. Anything is better than the ballroom, its air thick with cologne and bullshit.

By his expression Levi guesses Erwin prefers this, too. Levi watches him go to the railing and ease his weight back onto it, tipping his head skyward, peaceful as a cat in sunlight. The fundraising party feels like it belongs in another world instead of the other side of the ornate glass door.

“I’ve been coming to these things for fifteen years,” Erwin says, a trace of a sigh in his voice. “Even before I had any rank Shadis would drag me along to see what I could do.”

“Well sure, he needed you,” Levi says. “The man has all the charm of a dying cockroach.”

Erwin’s eyes widen and he bites back a laugh, glancing around the balcony as if he thinks their former commander is with them tonight, hiding behind a garish bust of some decades-dead noble and waiting to strike with a reprimand. Old habits, Levi supposes.

He wants to say something more clever, how he’s sure Erwin was a looker even back then. How he thinks a bat of unwrinkled blue eyes would be all it took to get coin to drip from jeweled hands to the Survey Corps budget. How Erwin’s even better at this now, accomplished and innovative and worthy of trust.

Levi never knows what word will tip the scales too far. He never knows what compliment will crack his heart open for Erwin to see, send them crashing into a pit they can’t climb out of. He’s heartsick at the idea of rejection, wouldn’t know what to do with acceptance, and in every case Erwin has innumerable worries more important than Levi’s feelings. So he plants his tongue between his teeth. He endures.

“Oh, Levi,” Erwin says.

No exasperation, just fondness. And really, Levi’s mostly alright with the platonic nature of that fondness. Erwin’s friendship, his admiration, feels better than anything he’s ever had.

“You know,” Erwin continues, his eyes on the dotted line of stars above. “I used to be miserable at these functions. They’ve become much more bearable the last few years.”

Levi snorts, following Erwin’s gaze to the sky. “What changed, you start bringing a flask with you or something?”

There’s a few seconds of silence, until Levi realizes he’s missing something. He glances at Erwin and finds it. He’s watching Levi with soft eyes, a summer-warm smile.

“Oh.” Levi rubs the back of his reddening neck. “Well. Hm.”

Erwin pushes away from the gaudy marble railing and comes close enough to grip his elbow, close enough to do anything.

“You’ve made everything more bearable. I don’t know how I ever did any of this without your support. Without you.” 

“Have you been drinking?” Levi asks. It’s all he can think to say, and it takes some of the jitters out of his overtaxed heart.

“No, no.” Erwin drops his head, laughs, and it dispels some of the tension. He gives the floor his scrutiny for a second, then glances at the closed door to the ballroom. “If I had been I might ask you to dance. This is one of my favorites.”

Levi listens to the muffled music, something quick and devoid of sentiment. Deeming it safe, Levi holds out his hand, palm up.

Erwin stares at it for a moment, then breathes a quiet laugh and takes the proffered hand in his, snug and secure.

It doesn’t last more than ten seconds but every inch of Levi’s skin is alive and electric as Erwin twirls him under his arm, spins him back against the warmth of his chest, touches Levi’s shoulder with his free hand briefly, then twirls him again until their arms are outstretched. They stay there for a lingering moment, hands linked by the tips of their fingers, phototropic limbs reaching for their sun. Their laughter is breathy, quiet bundles of solid nerves.

Erwin stumbles a bit when they drop hands, just a light-quick misjudgment of the ground. Then he steps forward again, almost instinctively, like he’s setting himself back in orbit. Like the center of gravity has always laid its foundation somewhere in the space between them.

The door creaks open and a jolt rockets up Levi’s arms, sending him a step back from Erwin, the orbit falling away. Hange steps out onto the balcony, their cheeks flushed with heat and wine.

“Erwin, Pixis is looking for you,” they say.

Petra appears from behind Hange, winded, like she was interrupted in the middle of a dance. She links her arm with Hange’s and eyes the top of Levi’s head.

“You need to fix your hair, Captain,” she says.

“Thank you, Hange,” Erwin says. He spares Levi a quick, impersonal nod before heading inside. Levi understands.

Hange and Petra inspect Levi as he flattens his hair, both of them looking unreasonably smug.

“Doing alright out here?” Petra asks, all mock innocence.

Levi shrugs, not taking the bait.

“Could be worse,” he says, and he follows them inside for a drink.


	19. (fluff & angst)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seven drabbles for erwin week!

> _1\. childhood_

A gull passes over the wall. Its white head blinks in and out of sunlight, then vanishes into Maria skies.

“Papa,” Erwin says. “Could a human fly?”

“Fly? Like a bird?”

His father stops walking. Other adults give Erwin bemused smiles at his questions, entertain him, lend hums loaded with a patronization reserved only for children. Erwin’s father feeds his curiosity with more questions to keep him full. There’s no one like him.

Erwin continues watching the artificial horizon of the wall’s edge, then giggles. “Not like a bird, Papa. Like…like a boat. We have a machine to carry us over rivers, why not the sky?”

A cloud passes over the sun, and a fleeting anxiety passes over his father’s face. At the time, Erwin only saw the sun.

“What makes you say that?”

“No one knows how big the world is, right?” Erwin presses on. “How could people reach every part of it if they can’t fly?”

“You might be onto something,” his father says. Erwin doesn’t miss the glance he aims back toward town, just out of earshot. “Maybe you’ll build the first air boat.”

Before they reach town his father eases to his knees amid fanning yellow flowers, bobbing under their own weight. Nectar hangs sweet in the air and Erwin wrinkles his nose until he adjusts to the strong scent. Bees hum somewhere close. All Erwin’s questions go forgotten.

“These are goldenrods,” his father says. “They only bloom like this in August. You know what I think whenever I see them?”

“That it’s time to go back to school?”

His father’s eyes light, the cloud long dispersed. A broad, warm hand ruffles Erwin’s hair.

“It’s like you can read my mind.”

Erwin beams. This year, in six days, he’ll be in his father’s classroom for the first time.

He touches a petal and comes away rubbing pollen between his fingertips. “Mama would love these,” Erwin says.

He turn and meets his father’s smile.

“I was just thinking the same thing.”

> _2\. vacation_

Levi practically kidnaps him. Erwin’s never felt so helpless as when Levi stops him in front of his office door and tugs him unceremoniously by the wrist back down the hall. Then down another hall. Down stairs. Levi abruptly drops his wrist when they hear someone coming, but Erwin wouldn’t dare make a break from his strange captivity. Erwin could have broken his grip and Levi could have broken him a thousand times over the years and all they’ve managed is to come away from each other more whole.

They don’t stop in the training yard, where recruits are more preoccupied with enjoying the weather than finishing their workouts. They don’t stop until they reach the edge of the woods, where their sun-soaked soldiers become shadows in the distance.

Here Levi folds his own jacket and places it on the ground before flopping down onto it, leaning back against a tree. Subject to his captain’s glare, Erwin’s quick to follow suit. At Levi’s side Erwin waits for an explanation that doesn’t come.

Erwin begins, “My letter to Lady–”

“Finish it later.”

“I could’ve brought it out h–”

“Sh.”

“B–”

“Sh.”

Erwin takes in Levi’s eyes shut in tight obstinance, the shoulders as rigid as the bark they want to take rest from. It loosens something in Erwin, who can’t help a small laugh. He leans back, their arms just brushing.

“Shh,” Levi repeats with less bite, his wrinkling frown relaxing.

Erwin smiles, squeezes Levi’s hand in the private stretch of shadow between them before folding his own hands in his lap. Eyes closed, the last day of summer glows warm orange through his lids. He can spare his captain an afternoon.

> _3\. divergence_

This time he keeps his mouth shut.

He lets his father’s revelations simmer in his mind and never boil over. He scribbles ideas in a notebook he keeps tucked under his mattress to hide not from his parents but from any unexpected visitors. They survive.

This time Kuchel Ackerman is a baker from outer Maria who brings her son along for deliveries to the interior. Erwin meets a boy who scowls at the world with a full-cheeked face and hope in his eyes. Kenny the Ripper never could have dreamed such a sight in another life.

“Ma got a job here,” Levi says one day, hands full of pebbles to throw in the river. “So I guess I’ll have to see more of you now.”

The grumble in his voice compels Erwin to reply, “I’m sorry.”

Levi stops mid-throw, casts a look over his shoulder. Then at the pile of stones in his palm. “Wanna learn to skip ‘em?”

Erwin pushes to his feet with an eagerness that sparks a dimple at the corner of Levi’s mouth.

They join the Survey Corps, because some things don’t change and some truths plead for a chase. But Erwin’s learned to keep his head down.

He slashes death rates exponentially. Some things don’t change. When they do, they’re ripples in a pond that fail to stir the sweeping waves he might have summoned with a little more weight on his shoulders. He visits his parents every holiday.

This time he overthrows the government, and nothing more. His chaotic hands never brush the paradigm. After Historia’s coronation Levi kisses him with anarchic thrill in their veins and whispers fantasies of retirement into his ear. Erwin pulls him closer with two arms and agrees, yes, yes, he’ll put in the paperwork next year.

This time Levi has made something malleable of Erwin, wrapped him snug as a ring around his finger. Some things never change.

This time Maria never falls. From the window of their house the wall cuts through the horizon like the ugly reminder of a promise unfulfilled. The silver he spots in Levi’s hair is a sight more welcome.

> _4\. mourning_

Erwin knows something is wrong when a man from the Military Police arrives at his father’s funeral.

He doesn’t make an entrance, doesn’t tread past the manicured edge of the cemetery lawn, but to Erwin the man could be a thunderstorm at the doorstep drowning out the Wall priest’s sermon. His mother’s silence at his side crackles just as loudly.

Erwin lifts his chin and meets the man’s eyes, glittering watchfully from across the lawn. Time would temper the anger that lashed at his young heart, but today he holds the man’s gaze like a promise. His father’s death was no accident, and Erwin did not carry the guilt alone.

The man leaves before his father is laid to rest. Erwin clutches his mother’s sleeve in one hand and wilting goldenrods in his other.

> _5\. birthday_

“So when’s yours?”

“Ah.” Erwin winces prematurely. “About two months ago.”

“Two months ago?” Levi repeats several decibels louder. “You unbelievable shit. You could’ve said something.”

“It was a busy week. The expedition–”

“It’d take two seconds to bring it up.”

“Before or after keeping the left flank from being flattened?”

“I could’ve brought you a nice steaming head to take home. What a disgrace.”

 _Home_. Erwin wonders what about this place, with its routines and limitations, makes Levi feel safe enough to call it home.

“What’s that look about?” Levi asks suspiciously.

“Nothing. It’s the thought that counts.”

“Thought my ass. What would you want?”

“It was two months ago.”

“For next year. Indulge me.”

“Sounds like I’m the one being indulged.”

A smirk chases all Levi’s mock annoyance away. Levi turns before the bend of his mouth can soften into something genuine before Erwin’s vigilant eyes. Frost infects the window. A twist of hair at the back of Levi’s head begs to be flattened into place.

“I know what you can do,” Erwin says. He steps close and gives into the pleading strand, smoothing Levi’s hair. It’s still a novelty when Levi doesn’t flinch from every unexpected touch. “Stay alive for us. For–for the Corps.”

Levi huffs through his nose but doesn’t comment. He closes his eyes, relaxing against the hand on his skull.

“Thanks for everything today,” he says in a voice so quiet Erwin almost doesn’t recognize it.

Erwin sweeps his thumb through the hair once before stepping away. 

> _6\. king_

Levi loves Erwin’s undying patience, among a profusion of other things.

There’s a pile in Levi’s lap, bellflowers and white chrysanthemums and something golden he never learned to name. He thinks of asking Erwin. Perhaps later. The morning air is clean of dust and weighty words. He doesn’t want to disturb him now.

Erwin smiles serenely at the ceiling while Levi weaves stems together, then weaves stems into Erwin’s hair. He nearly apologizes when his newly clumsy fingers snag on a strand of fine blonde, but Erwin doesn’t flinch. Not for the first time, Levi wonders how Erwin puts up with him.

Levi smooths out a few petals, then sits at the edge of the bed to admire his handiwork. Erwin carries regality; the slope of his nose, the dignified set of his brow. He makes Levi’s simple yard flowers look fit for a king.

Levi watches until the sun shifts from the window and he remembers the audacity of a world that continues to turn. He fragments the silence once, just once, when he reaches for Erwin’s cloak and some freshly broken piece of his spirit escapes in a small sound. His hands shake as he raises the cloak to shelter Erwin, crown and all.

> _7\. afterlife_

His father’s smile is warm as he remembers when he bends down to greet Erwin for a hug in the schoolyard. They walk home in a field washed gold with sun and unblighted by walls.

“How was your day, son?” he asks.

“Perfect,” Erwin says. “I have so much to tell you, Papa.”


	20. (fluff)

It’s rather cute, the way Erwin thinks Levi doesn’t notice him sneaking around.

His lessened availability is clue enough, the way he denies Levi’s company when it seems he can never deny Levi anything. It began after Levi made a passing comment about his mother in the lulling comfort of Erwin’s office. He couldn’t help mentioning how the time of year made him remember her, how she’d always buy him something new and warm near the start of winter for his birthday. Levi had changed the subject quickly enough to the upkeep of their stables, but he knows the sight of an idea stuck in Erwin Smith’s mind.

The door shuts with a muffled whisper of a click when Erwin comes into Levi’s room a week later. It’s enough to wake Levi, curled in his armchair. He opens his eyes a millimeter to watch Erwin set a small brown package on his bed, carefully adjusting the attached tag to his liking. His eyes snap shut again when Erwin turns toward him. It’s silent for a moment before Erwin takes a few steps toward him, then it’s silent again.

Levi reminds himself to breathe evenly as the seconds stretch on, as he realizes Erwin is watching him. He’d give anything to see Erwin’s face right now.

When Erwin finally turns to go Levi makes a show of startling awake, reaching for Erwin’s wrist before he can leave.

“Oh! Levi. I’m sorry, go back to sleep.”

Erwin’s pulse is jumping under Levi’s thumb. He lets go.

“What is it?” Levi asks, roughening his voice to make it seem he’d been asleep the whole time.

“Just wanted to bring you something. Go back to sleep. Maybe even in your bed?”

“What’d you bring me?” Levi asks, sitting up straight.

Erwin looks away, smiles at the ground. “Something for your birthday. I don’t know when–”

“You didn’t have to–”

“I know, and I didn’t know if there was anything you wanted, or anything you needed, but–”

“Erwin, you’ve already given me everything I could–”

Levi stops. Perhaps he isn’t as awake as he thought.

“Thanks.”

“Of course, Levi.” Erwin looks up at him again. “You really should sleep in your bed, you know. Better for your back.”

“You’re one to talk,” Levi says, and Erwin laughs before he goes.

Levi springs from his chair and resettles on his bed, tucking his legs under him. The tag on top reads “ _Happy Birthday -E_.” With a small twist in his gut he realizes it’s the first present he’s had in decades. He never told Isabel or Farlan his birthday. The thought is a little too much so he sets it aside, then sets the tag aside to save it.

Inside the crinkling brown paper are sealed bags of tea leaves, the top-quality kind Levi had his eye on the last time they were in Mitras. He breathes out softly and relaxes against the head of the bed, holding the package to his nose.

He goes to Erwin’s office an hour later, a blanket around his shoulders and a cup of his new tea in hand. The sky is a starless black and Levi has to light a candle to see Erwin dozing at his desk, hair ruffling against some papers. He sits at Erwin’s side, content to watch the man sleep. It’s gift enough.


	21. (smut)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for bottom erwin week (formal attire theme) nsfw :O
> 
> UPDATE: now with [beautiful fanart](http://ongzori.tumblr.com/post/159560814022) from my dear ongzori!!!! <3

The theatrics are gaudy even for Mitras, and for once Levi doesn’t mind at all.

Erwin’s carefully-conducted case studies proved their fundraisers would attract greater interest with a theme. At the word _masquerade_ the wealthy of the walls clamored for the chance to act as if they cared what happened beyond their borders, to sing the bravery of the Survey Corps as if they were a band of age-old heroes, not a recurrent public disgrace.

The atmosphere is alien and grating as ever, but at least now he can blend in. The ridiculous mask with all its violet plumage is a shield between himself and the Sina elite.

Erwin isn’t so lucky. Between his hair and his stature he’s indistinguishable from all but perhaps Mike, who escaped to a balcony with Nanaba over an hour ago. Erwin’s mask is modest compared to all the others around the room, little more than a thin black strip of cloth with holes for his eyes. There’s something about it Hange called dashing on their way here.

From the opposite wall he catches glimpses of Erwin between dancing bodies and their flashes of sequins and silk. He’s all serious eyes and easy gestures as he shakes hands, kisses ladies’ knuckles, treats every lord’s great-aunt like his dearest friend. Levi’s content to watch him like this, undisturbed and close enough. He’s only here to keep an eye on things, after all. Erwin’s given him a break from socializing tonight, and Levi spends hours dreaming up increasingly imaginative ways to thank him.

The noise of the night rises with the half moon, endless clinks of glass and swells of violin. Levi waits until the party lulls, until the crowds around Erwin promising their donations begin to thin. Then he makes his way over, deliberate. Erwin’s eyes are too bright to hide behind their mask.

“You didn’t wear your cravat.”

“Too obvious.”

“People have been asking about you.”

“Surprised no one’s recognized me on their own. Not exactly a lot of men my height around.”

“Of course, you don’t usually dress quite so…brightly.”

“Wasn’t a problem for you.”

“I’d know you anywhere.”

Erwin’s fingers rise, graze against Levi’s neck. There’s wine flush in his cheeks.

“Get everything you want?” Levi asks.

“Nearly.”

“Maybe you should ask Lady Weber for a dance. She looks like she’s still got a little too much gold in her purse.”

Erwin smiles. His eyes are softer than Levi’s seen all night. “Maybe I should.” 

In the end it’s Levi who takes his hand, Levi who leads him near the spot where an indisposed Moblit is trodding on Hange’s toes one by one. It’s not a tactile dance, only a brush of hands now and then as the partners circle each other. Erwin is loosened by social drink and the promise of another expedition funded, so he obliges a disguised Levi a few turns at a terrible arm’s-length apart.

There’s something wild and fantastical about being with him like this, pressing palms together and encircling each other in view of everyone. Levi doesn’t have to care if there’s eyes on them, and after a minute he can’t see the other eyes at all. Even the music seems to quiet as he gets swept into the feel of Erwin’s rough fingertips brushing against his wrist, the guide of Erwin’s hand on his waist when Levi misses a step, the warm heaviness of his gaze in the cutting candlelight, never leaving Levi’s.

The music ends and Levi starts at the smattering of applause for the orchestra. He’d almost forgotten they weren’t alone.

Erwin takes one of Levi’s gloved hands, raises it to his lips.

“Thank you Le–” His eyes flit to their closest neighbors. “Thank you for the dance.”

“Good luck with your expedition, Commander,” Levi says, just loud enough to be heard.

Erwin smiles.

*

“You were perfect tonight. Thank you.”

Levi snorts. “I skulked around as a security guard for a few hours. The most dangerous thing that happened was Moblit’s dancing.”

“But you were there.”

Levi hums but doesn’t respond, heart silently warming to the praise. He strips his mask off, shaking his hair out. On the other side of their inn room Erwin is unbuttoning his suit jacket.

“Wait.”

Erwin’s fingers pause. Levi takes a long, indulgent look at him, out of uniform for a change and all dressed up.

“Leave it on for a sec.” He goes to him, runs his hands along the lapels. “Damn. You’re unfair.”

Erwin tips his chin up with a finger, eyes scorching even hooded by the thin mask. Levi’s surprised by the intensity when he kisses him, slow and controlled, a hand now at his waist to ease him closer. Usually it takes longer to draw Erwin away from business after a night like this, when his head is full of new figures and new possibilities. But everything from the shallow brush of tongue to the hands steadily untucking Levi’s shirt sings of focus. 

“Something in mind?” Levi asks.

Erwin kisses a soft trail to his ear, where he whispers, “Could you fuck me tonight?”

It’s unexpected. Levi shivers. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. Wh–”

“I need you.”

Levi hardly nods before there’s a rustle of rich fabric. Erwin lowers himself. The clink of Levi’s belt reminds him of the jingling of glassware at the fundraiser, a world away.

Erwin wets his lips before sliding them down Levi’s cock. Levi gasps at the pace, nearly stumbling back a step before Erwin’s steadying hands grab his waist. His eyes hide somewhere under the shade of a mask and thick lashes.

Levi lets him take what he needs for a few minutes, fingers anchored in Erwin’s hair. He gets close quickly, dizzy from the heat of Erwin’s tongue, the strength of the hands keeping him standing. Levi keeps his lip bit tight until he can’t stop a groan from escaping. Erwin responds, stirred, a low sound in his throat making Levi whine through his pressed lips. He’s about to give in, let himself come down Erwin’s throat, then he remembers Erwin’s request.

“Hey.”

Erwin looks immediately, bottom lip dragging against his cock on the way up. He’s breathing hard, cheeks glowing red. Levi hasn’t been able to keep his hands out of Erwin’s hair. The man’s already a mess.

They move to the bed, Levi bringing along the oil from their luggage. They shed their clothes between long kisses. Erwin reaches for his thin mask, breathing a laugh like he forgot it was still on, but Levi takes his wrist to stop him.

Levi runs his fingers along the soft cloth. He’s struck with an idea that sends a new wave of heat to his groin. He twists the mask around til it’s a blindfold, dishevelling Erwin’s hair further and making him inhale softly.

“Is this okay?” Levi asks, hands framing his face, ready to take it off again if needed.

“Yes,” Erwin whispers.

Levi kisses him hard and leaves Erwin chasing his mouth when he pulls away. He coaxes Erwin to his back. He gasps when Levi circles his opening with a slick finger, the touch unexpected.

“Still doing okay?” Levi asks.

“Yes.”

“You’re so sensitive. How does it feel?”

It affects him, the way Erwin shivers just at the sound of his voice. “Don’t stop.”

“That good? Well shit, you should do this to me sometime.”

Levi opens him quickly as he can without hurting him, sensing Erwin’s need, giving his skin soothing strokes. Every unseen, unpredictable touch turns Erwin’s attention, quickens his breath.

“You’re doing so good,” Levi whispers into his ear, and Erwin inhales at having him suddenly so close. He arches up enough to reach Levi’s neck with his mouth, sucking at the skin he can find there.

Levi closes his eyes and enjoys it for a minute before pushing Erwin back down with a firm hand to his shoulder. He spares him a few more lingering kisses before he eases back to slick himself up. Erwin braces his feet against the bed to lift his hips and Levi loves this about him, his duality, his strength and vulnerability on display in a single gesture. Levi loves the wrecked sound Erwin makes when he enters him, grasping blindly for Levi like he already wants more. Levi pauses to let them both adjust.

“Are you alright?” Erwin asks.

“I’m not the one with a–” Levi bites his lip when Erwin shifts, the warm heat around him sending a shudder all the way to his scalp.

Levi starts slow. Erwin breathes deep and soft as Levi kisses his collarbone and rocks gently into him and enjoys the water-smooth sheets against his skin. When Erwin’s thighs begin to tremble around him Levi sits up on his knees, holding Erwin’s legs apart himself. Erwin groans at the new angle and so Levi fucks him harder there. The tightness and heat building in him is already too much.

“I’m not gonna make it long,” Levi admits, voice rough.

“Wait.” Erwin says. His hand reaches out, lands lightly on Levi’s arm. “Can I see you?”

Levi folds forward. He slips the mask off, rumpling Erwin’s hair on its way to the pillow. Erwin’s eyes pan Levi, the heat in his face and neck, the place where their bodies join.

“Oh,” he says, all air. He grabs Levi’s ass, clenching around him.

Levi’s so close he can hardly breathe. “Fuck, Erwin–”

His curse breaks off into stuttering sounds. He wants to last longer but there’s no shame in this. Not when Erwin looks at him like he’s delivered the world and all its secrets before his feet, eyes reverent. Levi’s release makes his own eyes snap shut, his mouth soundlessly drop open. Erwin moans encouragement, pressing his fingers deep into Levi’s hips and keeping him close.

Levi catches his breath for a moment, hands absently stroking Erwin’s chest, Erwin rubbing Levi’s back in return and making his skin sing. Then he regains his senses long enough to realize Erwin’s still hard. He pulls out, sliding down the bed without a word. Erwin begins to whisper his name when Levi sinks his mouth onto Erwin’s cock, sucking hard. Erwin comes with Levi’s nails scratching lightly at his thighs and his own hand light on the nape of Levi’s neck.

Erwin’s smiling sleepily when Levi moves up to lay on top of him.

“Thank y–”

Levi presses his fingers to Erwin’s lips to cut him off, then covers his mouth with his own. It’s lazy now, Erwin’s hands at his sides lulling him, and with his fingertips he traces each line and bone of Erwin’s face til he’s had his fill.

Levi finds something to clean them up and resettles at Erwin’s side, nose nuzzling between the shoulder blades giving off warmth like a watch fire.

“We’re leaving the walls again, then?” Levi asks.

“And then some. Our donors were feeling especially generous tonight.”

“Good,” he says, even as something curls in his stomach.

He wants to sleep. He doesn’t want to miss a second. He presses a hand to Erwin’s back, feels each breath fall away and rise again to greet him.

Levi catches sight of the mask, now caught under the other pillow. He slips it out and carefully tosses it back toward their luggage bag for next time, thankful for next times.


	22. (fluff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for eruri of the month (secret)

It’s been Erwin’s for years, the sloppily-cut running trail through the woods. A gnarled and curling branch at the edge of the training grounds marks its beginning. The whitewater river two miles away marks its end. Not even Mike knows about it, not even Shadis, and Erwin plans to keep it that way. He likes having a place to go where no one has to follow, where he’s the only one suffering for his orders.

For years only an early meeting or the most severe of illnesses kept him from rising before dawn and breaking in the trail. Over four miles he stamped down the earth and parted swatting branches overhead and let his mind go blessedly blank of anything but the dewy morning air soothing his hot lungs. Sometimes the forest was so quiet he could almost hear his father’s voice again.

_Just over this ridge. Watch out for those roots. You’re almost there._

It’s a soggy late spring day, ideal running weather, and Erwin needs this. He hardly slept the night before. When pressure gets to Shadis, Shadis takes it out on his officers with increasingly unproductive, uncooperative meetings lasting well into the evening. With every pounding step he forgets the slipping funds, the sponsors lost.

His calves sting when he stops at the river, hooking his hands behind his head. He catches his breath, then kneels by the river, scooping a handful of rushing water and wetting the back of his neck. It’s near-frigid and feels good, soaking into the collar of his sweat-sticky shirt.

“Hey.”

Erwin nearly tumbles into the river at the voice, cutting through his nerves. He turns and stands. Levi is sitting on a rock near the line of trees, twirling a broad maple leaf in his hands.

“Shit, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Levi. It’s–you didn’t.”

His heart races, faster than it ever did when he ran. He’s never been easy to surprise, not until Levi.

“How did you find this place?” Erwin asks.

“I used to be following you, remember? For a while I thought if the expedition didn’t work out I could kill you here. Figured now all that’s over I might as well show myself. It’s a nice spot.”

He talks about it so casually, so flatly, shredding the leaf into thin slices with slim fingers. Erwin shivers. He’s sure it’s only the sweat cooling at his neck.

“Yes. It is.”

Levi stands slowly. He stretches toward the sky, the mingling clouds threatening another bout of rain. 

“Ready to head back?” Levi asks.

Erwin has more questions, but they can wait. Levi’s been patient enough for him.

Levi keeps a brisk pace, Erwin soon finds. He pushes himself to keep up the whole time, focusing on the sprinkling of new rain in Levi’s hair to stop thinking about the ache in his knees. He remembers his trainee years, when he could sprint endless laps of steep stone stairs as a warm-up. He’d laugh if he had breath in his lungs to spare.

Levi isn’t a chatty running partner, and when they get back to base he leaves Erwin with a pat on the elbow and a “See you at lunch.” He leaves Erwin with a stitch in his side and a settling confusion.

It’s another week before Erwin sees Levi on the path again. This time he meets him at the edge of the grounds, two canteens in his arms.

“You don’t drink enough water,” Levi greets him, shoving a canteen at Erwin’s chest. “It’s stupid. You could’ve collapsed from dehydration and died in those woods and no one would find you until summer came and the smell carried to headquarters.”

Erwin twists off the top of his canteen, can’t help the smile that cracks at his mouth. “Good morning, Levi.”

They run to the river at Levi’s pace, in perfect silence. The morning is infernally warm, heat prickling from his scalp to his ankles as soon as they get started. Levi hardly breaks a sweat but his skin is flushed, radiating.

They refill their canteens at the river, the metal running icy at the touch of fresh water. Erwin sits to rest and drink. Levi presses his canteen to the back of his neck, humming deeply, the first revealing sound he’s made all morning. It’s like a spell is broken, or a new one is cast.

“You weren’t so bad today,” Levi says. “You’ve been working on your pace this week, haven’t you?”

He has, every day. Levi’s brought out something of his competitive boyhood spirit, something he thought had been mangled into cold ambition years ago.

Levi’s eyes meet his, and for a moment neither speaks. Erwin holds his gaze and thinks absurdly of the rocks in the river, shining dark and sculpted smooth by the cutting rapids.

“Here,” Levi says.

He walks close enough to touch, his body slicing away the rays of rising sun as he stands over Erwin. He plucks Erwin’s canteen out of his hand and smooths disheveled hair away from Erwin’s temple. Then he presses the canteen there against Erwin’s heated skin, the coolness and gentleness startling a sharp sigh from him. Levi’s fingers stay in his hair, shifting into light almost-strokes.

“This doesn’t have to become a thing,” Levi says. He nods vaguely at the woods, the path. “If you like your alone time. Hell, I get it.”

Erwin knows penance. He wonders if this is Levi’s. He wonders how to tell Levi his penance was never necessary. That Levi could never hope to place in a contest of their sins.

“The faster I get,” Erwin says, “the less likely I’ll die out there, I figure. A slow old man like me could use all the help I could get.”

“Alright, then,” Levi says, almost stiffly, like it’s a pact sealed. He lowers his head and steps back, handing Erwin his canteen. The corners of Levi’s mouth have relaxed minutely, almost settling into a smile.

They run back in the growing heat of the day, and when they part ways there’s no one else to disturb them. It’s a secret he finds he doesn’t mind sharing at all.


	23. (angst..??)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a post-canon au of sorts

The high whistle of a boiling kettle gently drags Levi from his sleep. He pinches the bridge of his nose, coaxing his brain into consciousness. Then he hears the smooth sound of water pouring into a cup. He smiles slowly. It must be a good day. They haven’t had enough of them lately. 

 **  
**He stands and pulls a cotton robe over his sleepwear. Erwin is back, tea in hand, before he can leave the doorway. **  
**

“Good morning,” Erwin says.

“You don’t say.”

It’s clear the effort exhausted him. Erwin’s leaning against the door frame, smiling but pale. The white and blonde at his temple musses against the wood. These days he’s looking his age and then some.

 _And somehow still handsome as hell_ , Levi marvels. He takes the tea, stretches up and tilts Erwin’s chin down to kiss his forehead.  _I could be biased_.

He takes Erwin by the elbow into the living room, sits him down in his armchair to rest. Erwin’s quiet sound of contentment is a balm for Levi’s aching leg, the way his limbs protest as he curls them onto the couch. In age they straddled either side of fifty, and moved like men with an extra decade or two behind them.

After the war they both agreed they’d had their fill of the sea. They couldn’t smell salt and brine without hearing the roar of cannon fire, so they set out somewhere new. After months of travel they found a quiet settlement in clean mountain air, untouched by war, unaware the walls had ever existed. Here they found their home, a little fixer-upper down the road from the town schoolhouse. It was easy work for Erwin then, his regrown arm as strong as the rest of him. But tremors stole into his hands over the years, a natural aftereffect of the serum, and Levi took over most of the maintenance. He never minded, not even three years ago, during the winter the roof caved in and they had to stay with their neighbors until Levi could get it fixed. Erwin certainly didn’t mind the neighbors’ attentive, inquisitive children. It brought him back to his brief teaching days at the schoolhouse, some of the happiest of his life. On those days slivers of weight eased from Levi’s contrition.

“You’re looking good today,” Levi says. He sets his feet on the arm of Erwin’s chair.

“Your tone of surprise wounds me,” Erwin says, gently rubbing his thumb over the inside of Levi’s ankle.

“You know what I mean, shut up.”

Levi smiles as he looks toward the window. He takes a long drink of tea. It looks warm outside, the wet leaves plastered onto the ground all untouched by frost.

“Wanna go for a walk today? I think the store’s getting a new shipment of soap.”

“That–” Erwin’s interrupted by a cough so hideous Levi can feel it tearing at his own lungs. “That would be great.”

Levi’s grip around the mug tightens. They passed the thirteen-year mark nearly two years ago. Levi credited it to Erwin’s minimal transformations, his otherwise-good health all his life. He knew Erwin wasn’t well now, but he had been foolish enough to allow hope to take root in his heart, to forget the death sentence Levi himself signed for Erwin all those years ago. Had he allowed a day to go by without gratefully cataloging every conversation? An hour?

Erwin rubs his chest like it’s hurting again.  _I did this to him_ , Levi thinks.

Erwin catches him watching before Levi can tuck away the worry in his eyes.

“I gave you the choice to make,” Erwin says. He smooths his hand over Levi’s calf, fingers light. “I still trust you with it.”

They spent too many years tiptoeing around guilt and ghosts not to acknowledge them now. He’s glad they can talk about it. Even now when Levi wants to turn away in shame, he meets Erwin’s eyes.

Erwin insists on washing Levi’s mug. He hums to himself, some old naval tune they learned in their days fighting at sea. Levi watches half amused and half concerned as Erwin scrubs, rinses, sets to dry. He doesn’t know what to make of this burst of exuberance when Erwin had spent much of the last year making use of a wheelchair.

Erwin continues humming as he reaches for Levi, pulls him close into a sort of dance that’s more shuffling than anything rhythmic. His fingers feel thin laced with Levi’s, his arm trembling on Levi’s waist.

“Your hands are still wet, asshole,” Levi says.

He leans his head against Erwin’s chest anyway. His heartbeat is erratic, trying too hard, but it’s there. Levi’s eyes squeeze shut.

Throughout the day Erwin’s breath is thinner, labored. Levi wonders if Erwin pushed too much just by getting out of bed on his own. He wonders if Hange would know what to do.

Levi convinces Erwin to take it easy that afternoon. The have a late lunch on the porch, schoolchildren waving to them from the road as they scurry home. Squirrels paw at the ground as they scavenge for food, their twitchy movements sending wet leaves scattering and catching flashes of light. The autumn sun sets sweeping color across the sky and wiping it away just as quickly. Even Levi now feels the strain of picking himself up after a long spell of sitting.

“Fuckin’ ow,” Levi grumbles, massaging his own tailbone as he stands to go inside. “And they always said we’d be lucky to grow old.”

He aims a sly grin over his shoulder at Erwin, who seems to have missed his attempt at humor. He’s still gripping the doorknob, mouth slack, trying to catch his breath. Compared to the morning Erwin seems to be fading fast.

“Hey,” Levi says softly. He hurries to his side and helps him in. “Let’s get you to bed.”

When they’re settled in Levi rests Erwin’s head on his shoulder and he reads aloud. It’s a complicated old book of astronomy Levi barely understands, but he likes the look Erwin gets in his eyes when he reads it. Like he’s somewhere in an open field under a black velvet sky, seeing every comet, every star.

Levi turns a page and switches hands while he reads, one holding the book and the other stroking through Erwin’s hair.

“A walk.”

“What?” Levi says, glancing down.

“I thought we were going out,” Erwin mumbles. “A walk. We need soap.”

“There’ll be soap tomorrow. And let me make the tea in the morning, alright?”

“Just wanted to do something nice for you.” Erwin sighs, breath rattling like there’s fragments of bone trapped in his lungs. He seems to sink further into Levi’s shoulder. “You’re always doing everything for me.”

“What’s been up with you today?”

Erwin’s quiet for a moment. “Just thankful.”

It’s something Levi can’t hear enough in his days of doubt, days when Erwin’s in too much pain to hide, even for a man who once made a career of living behind a mask.

He tucks some of Erwin’s hair behind his ears. It’s getting shaggy again.

“Well. I wouldn’t  _be_ anything without you, so don’t start. I’ll beat you in that competition every time.”

Erwin shakes his head and laughs low in his chest, rumbling and wheezy. He gives Levi’s stomach a mollifying pat. Levi wonders if he’s simply too tired to talk more.

They’ve found purposeful isolation here on ground untrod by titan feet, but they’ve managed to keep close a few pieces of the past. Levi wonders if he should write to Hange, to Historia. If there would even be time.

For all the years they’ve stolen away from death Levi still hasn’t devoted proper time to wondering what he’ll do without Erwin. He’s had a decade and a half to prepare and it still seems an impossibility that one day he’ll be truly, vividly gone.

“Hey, here’s your favorite,” Levi says.

He can’t help smiling at the page on Polaris, the guiding star. When he first read it aloud Erwin would say something sappy about Levi being his guiding star just to make Levi bury a groan in his hands. For years Erwin kept his affection bound to small looks across a room, gifts he couldn’t give in public, secrets he couldn’t share with anyone else. Levi liked that he could still be surprised by an Erwin who lay his cards on the table, who offered up sentimentality in words and gestures alike.

“What, not gonna say anything about–”

Levi looks down to see Erwin’s eyes closed, his breath steadily troubling the linen of Levi’s shirt. He closes the book and sets in on the table slowly, not making a sound. He holds Erwin with both arms, loosely. He knows holding him any tighter won’t keep him from being stolen away.

It’s been a good thirteen years and then some. Levi wonders how much deeper he’d condemn his own soul if there was some serum, some other loophole in the universe, anything to give them thirteen more.


	24. (historical au)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was my secret santa gift for maybeillride! :)  
> originally posted on tumbleur last month

Mostly Erwin’s night watchman post offered few thrills. The highlight of his evening might be sending home a lad out after curfew, or shooing rats away from workshops. He knew guarding the guilds was a gateway to the guilds themselves, but when the nights stretched into each other in a long starry string of solitude, he wondered if it would ever be worth it.

But he knew the nights when he could expect more. Those nights the shadows skittered and teased, like he was tailed by some playful creature he couldn’t see. Not until the creature decided to reveal itself.

 

The prickling hair on his neck let Erwin know he wasn’t alone before his ears could. He turned, half expecting to see someone breathing right on his nape. A cat slunk past the bakery that was part of his guard that night, but nothing more. Perhaps it was only his nerves, acting three steps ahead of him, proceeding to the moment of revelation.

This time Erwin saw him first, catching the shift of something solid at the far corner of the alley opposite the bakery. Then the man’s eyes meet his.

“Careful, thief,” Erwin says. “I might have to turn you in this time.”

“Thief?” The voice is quiet and flat as another shadow on the wall. “Is that all you think of me? After everything we’ve been through?”

He was no demon, no spirit. He only moved like one, slinking toward Erwin through the alley with otherworldly grace and eyes that could lure Erwin into the dark.

“I haven’t even done anything this time,” Levi says. “A rare occasion, no?”

His latest heist must have been good to him. A jeweled neckcloth graced his doublet, catching shards of moonlight in its cuts. Erwin had heard about the affair at the palace of some Medici great-nephew or another. He entertained himself imagining Levi infiltrating the ranks of the elite.

Mostly he caught Levi breaking into small galleries after hours, or sorting through church coffers. He’d arrested him once, the first time, and after that he only seemed to slip through Erwin’s fingers after brief exchanges that grew less brief over time.

“Rare indeed,” Erwin says. “Decided to become an honest man, have you, Levi?”

“Oh I think you know me better than that, Erwin.”

“Do any other watchmen know you so well?”

“No, you’re the only one who finds me charming instead of crude.”

Erwin can’t deny it. He remembers the smiles he bit back at the filth Levi spouted as they took him to a cell. He remembers the note left in the cell when he found it empty the next morning, scrawled on Erwin’s own parchment– _see you around, Signor Blonde_. How Erwin was left feeling more intrigued than slighted. How delighted he was to see the man a month later raiding guild offices.

“Your nights may be getting more peaceful,” Levi says. “I may not remain in Florence for long.”

Erwin’s smile drops. “Oh? What do you mean?”

“Soon I’ll have enough to retire to the coast. Real Tuscan country. Wouldn’t it be a dream?”

Living off the land. Sunsets by the sea. A chance to watch real ships sail by. Erwin could see the appeal. He never imagined Levi as one for a quiet life but he was happy for him, even if the Florentine streets would feel a little lonelier.

“You should come,” Levi says. “What life would you be leaving here, the chance to guard old rich guild masters and their interests?”

Erwin laughs, but Levi’s face is serious.

“Would you come along? You would do well in the sun, not shaded by these hideous buildings. Don’t you tire of the buildings?”

“It’s hot enough in the shade here,” Erwin says. “Hot enough at night.”

“I envy you then, Erwin,” Levi says. He steps closer, chests nearly flush. “I wouldn’t mind sharing some of your warmth.”

Erwin snorts. He prays it’s too dark for Levi to see how his cheeks redden.

He sees right through Levi, he always could. Yet he gets swept along every time. He supposes that says more about himself than Levi.

There’s a clatter from the next street that makes them both turn. It might only be the cat again. It might not. The air changes and Levi shuffles back, like he’s ready to make his escape.

“Well, think about it.” Levi snaps his fingers twice, quickly. “I’ve got a delivery to make.”

A clatter from the bakery roof makes Erwin turn. The hatch door opens to reveal two youths with bags slung across their backs. One of them tosses a bag down to Levi, then follows the other across the rooftops into the night.

“It’s for the orphanage,” Levi says. “I won’t tell you which one in case you send your pigs after us, but somehow I doubt you will.”

Erwin doesn’t say anything. Levi almost smiles, surprisingly soft.

“I don’t always have to make my way taking jewels from priests,” Levi says. “Sometimes it’s good to have a little variety in life. You should remember that.”

Levi hurries away from him and Erwin starts, the training in him taking over to give chase. Levi hops halfway up the bakery wall with footholds on the windows. He pauses, turns to look down at Erwin watching him in wonder. Levi touches the only part he can reach of him, his hair, fingers light and cool.

“See you around, Signore,” Levi says.

Erwin watches Levi scale the wall with conviction, like he would go straight on up and climb into the moon itself. He runs fingers over his scalp, still tingling from Levi’s hand. Erwin would give them a five-minute head start before he sounded the alarm. If he did at all.

The figures on the rooftops fade into the black blanket of stars. Erwin paces the silent street and thinks of ships dotting a different sky.


	25. (angst)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wuthering heights inspired nonsense so death/ghosts cw lol

“Why did you hesitate?” Erwin asks.

He stands in the moonlight and cool air of an open window, loose right sleeve unraveling slowly. How he found his way into Levi’s room doesn’t need to be asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Levi pushes his work aside and leans back in his chair. Tomorrow will be hectic. He should catch what sleep he can.

He wakes after an hour of rest with an ache in his bad leg. Erwin is gone.

-

“Why did you hesitate?” Erwin asks the next night.

“Ask me tomorrow,” Levi says.

Erwin does, and does again. He could only ever refuse Levi when it came to matters of his own flesh and blood, of its preservation. Erwin waits by the window every night with starlight in his hair and a question Levi won’t answer.

-

The eighth night Levi is fresh from the funeral and in no mood to talk. Nile’s vacuous words ring in his temples and he thinks of finding Moblit for a round of drinks before he remembers. It kicks a laugh out of him, exhausted and delirious as he is.

“Why did you hesitate?”

Levi doesn’t look at him. He sheds his overcoat and sits at his desk to unlace his boots.

“The war could be nearly over now,” Erwin says. His voice is unbearably gentle. “Zeke was at your mercy, yours alone–”

“Stop.”

“Why?”

He rips at the last lace viciously, the aglet whipping his skin. He turns in his chair and pretends to sleep. When he cracks an eye open a minute later Erwin is gone.

-

“Why did you hesitate?”

“Why are you here?” Levi demands one week, tired of the game. “Shouldn’t you be…fuck, I don’t know. Not here?”

_Heaven? Beyond? With your father? Anywhere but at the side of the man who failed you?_

-

“Why did you hesitate?”

“Why don’t you ever say anything else?” Levi snorts. “You used to always say it was good to see me, even on the shitty nights. What happened to that, hm?”

Erwin’s face is unchanging in the way he watches Levi like a curiosity, sweetness and sadness open in his eyes. Levi looks away.

-

“Why did you hesitate?” Erwin asks. It’s been months and still he asks.

“What does it matter?” Levi says. “It didn’t save–I couldn’t–”

 _You’re gone_  can’t find its way to his lips.

-

Titans yield and oceans rise and still Erwin comes to him, finds him in every temporary lodging, every hastily-pitched tent. In the new front of war Levi’s hands are sharp and steady as ever, yet every night he wonders if he’s going mad.

“Why did you hesitate, Levi?”

“Why?”

“Why?”

 _I was hit from behind_ , he tries.

 _My blade was jammed_ , he lies.

 _Leave me be_ , he pleads.

 _Come back_ , he breathes.

-

Levi’s memory could only hold onto Erwin’s every detail for so long before pieces began to slip. Erwin’s voice fades as the nights blur into the hundreds, into a thousand, into more. The moonlight dims around the once-distinct features of his face. Time finally came to claim Levi’s restless shadow.

 _Why did you_ –

It’s hardly a whisper, more felt than heard, like a brush of wind over his shoulder. Levi slides free the ribbon holding back his hair. His own face in the mirror is an unrecognizable web of scars and wrinkles. He wonders if Erwin even knows who he’s speaking to anymore, or if his ghost is just as lost as Levi is.

Levi settles back in his chair and closes his eyes. Self-loathing is a hot bubble in his stomach that won’t let him sleep any more than the spirit in his room.

_Why–_

Levi wakes. He rises, reports to Hange, goes about his work. It’s mechanical now, the endlessness of killing and taking. He can’t wonder what Erwin would think without feeling sick.

When Levi returns to his room for the night Erwin is gone, without even a glimmer of blue by the window. He closes the door and leans back against it.

“Because I loved you,” he says to the room. “Because I was foolish enough to let myself want anything with you. A day alone. A house in the capital. A quick fuck.” He laughs. “Hell. A life. A future. Any of it. All of it.”

The room doesn’t respond, doesn’t look back at him. Levi kicks at the door with his heel.

“That’s why I hesitated. I thought I could save you and that’s why I didn’t kill that piece of shit when I had the chance. Ask me again. C’mon, Erwin, ask me again. I’m ready.”

He crosses the room and sits on the bed he never sleeps in. He stares at the window glass, willing a face to appear.

“I get it now, you know.” Levi smiles wryly, rubbing his weathered hands together. “I’m the reason you’re dead. That’s why you’ve been tormenting me like this, right? Right?”

The abundance of silence makes the room feel wider. He can’t even trick his weary mind into hearing voices.

Levi hits his fist against the bedpost. “Well? Torment me. Dammit, Erwin, where are you?”

War left no time for proper grief and Levi fights against the cold rush of it in his chest. He grips the bedpost until splinters rise under his fingertips and steady his rushing blood. He breathes loud enough to mask the muteness of the room.

“I’ll kill him. I will, Erwin.”

_And maybe he’ll kill me too._

_And maybe I’ll see your face again._

_And maybe I’ll hear your voice._

Levi stands again. He wonders if Hange is up late planning. They’ll need to be more aggressive if he’s to get to Zeke.

It’s better than lingering in his room, where not even mist stays to color the emptiness at the window, where a rattling gale wouldn’t have the decency to fill the silence.


	26. (fluff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shameless valentine's schmoop <3

Erwin will wear a suit to the fundraiser and bring nothing else, no overnight bag. It’s wishful thinking if not ideal preparedness. He wants to return to headquarters by sunrise. Even after tonight there won’t be room in the budget for a full day off.

He pats down the front of his shirt, triple-checking for wrinkles, smoothing over his sleeves.

His white sleeves. He forgot his suit jacket. At the far end of the street his carriage clatters into view.

He hardly takes three rushed steps back toward headquarters when a second-story window opens above him.

“Forgetting something?”

Levi’s head appears at the window, followed by a meticulously folded suit jacket.

Erwin sighs. “What would I do without you?”

Levi tosses the jacket down into Erwin’s waiting arms. “Get lost, would you?”

It takes Erwin a moment to realize it’s a command, not a response. He bows his head, grinning. Levi gifts him a smile in return, small and private. It lasts long enough for him to spot a recruit in poor form to reprimand. As Levi scolds Erwin pulls on his jacket and walks to the waiting carriage.

-

The fundraiser is only a town away this time, a relatively small party. Erwin is still weary of it before it properly begins, the crowd noise stitching an early headache into his temples.

He gives his speech and talks figures and offers smiles until they wear his cheeks down. If life sees fit to burden him with old age he imagines his face will be weathered and lined as an old cliff side.

The gathering disperses for a break before the next speaker. Erwin steals some peace from the patio. Under the blue brush of clouds he rubs life back into his jaw, exhausted by the chatter and the smiles.

Erwin wonders what Levi is doing tonight. He imagines the man must be grateful not to be here. He knows the contempt Levi holds for these events.

He can’t help wishing Levi were here anyway. It’s another mark of his selfishness, he knows, but he can’t help it in the slightest.

Nile finds him minutes later and initiates a catch-up conversation. Erwin, tired as he is, hardly notices his presence until Nile’s halfway through an oration about his middle child’s latest loose tooth.

“I’m not saying it’s perfect in the MP,” Nile says. “But at least I get to watch my kids grow up. At least you can have a place to call home at the end of the day.”

“Oh, our building isn’t so bad.” Erwin smiles pleasantly. “Which you’d know if you ever came to see our operations.”

“I don’t just mean a building. I mean a  _home_. It’s about the people, the feeling…ah, I don’t know why I’m bothering to explain it to you.” He claps Erwin on the back. “Wed to your work as you are.”

Erwin glances toward the door, eager for an escape route. His fidgeting hands find the pockets of his suit jacket.

“The pay’s not that different either, not that it helps when you’re feeding five mouths, of course–”

His fingers meet a crisp, unfamiliar edge of paper. Erwin pulls a small square packet from his pocket and frowns at it. He peels open the fold and spots a few seeds at the bottom of the packet. Tilting it toward the candlelight of the building reveals them to be fennel seeds.

“Levi,” Erwin whispers.

“Something wrong?” Nile asks.

“Not at all.”

Erwin gingerly closes his fingers around the packet. Levi’s always pushing fennel tea on him for his digestion. 

“I’m sorry,” Erwin says, “I have to go.”

“Now? It’s not even nine o’clock.”

Erwin pauses. He smiles, perhaps his first genuine one of the night.

“You’re right. Maybe a cup of tea first.”

-

No one notices Erwin walking back into headquarters, dark as it still is. He passes a few overachieving recruits still out in the training yard and sees a bit of himself in them. He passes a candlelit window where he sees Hange and Moblit’s silhouettes, heads bent together over something Erwin can’t make out. Already his steps feel lighter.

From the ground he spots Levi leaning out the same window from that morning. His hands dangles from the sill, finger twirling aimlessly in the air, like he could stir the stars.

Erwin whistles once. Levi looks down. He almost smiles in his surprise.

“You’re home early.”

For a moment Erwin just watches him, half shadow and half bright in the window, like a knife lying in the light. He wonders when Levi’s face became a sight more welcome than a proper meal, than his own bed.

Erwin takes Levi’s packet out and holds it up for him to see.

“That better be empty,” Levi says. “Come on up and show me.”

The night air slips cold fingers under his jacket, but Erwin doesn’t need it to beckon him inside. 


	27. (angsty smut)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew that new promo art messed me up

The night before the expedition Levi makes Erwin understand.

He locks the door and stomps right into Erwin’s personal space behind his desk. Their knees touch and Erwin looks confused in his chair and he opens his mouth but doesn’t say a word. Their fight is still fresh. Levi reaches for the collar of his own shirt and unbuttons. It takes four buttons before he makes Erwin understand. He knows it in the way his eyes go wide, surprise like Levi’s never seen on his commander’s face before.

Erwin stops him with a raised hand and Levi’s gut sinks, he’s miscalculated, Erwin doesn’t want him like this, and what does it matter if they’ll be dead in a few days, but he was so  _sure,_ for years he thought–

Erwin lays his hand against Levi’s newly bare skin and slides the shirt free of one shoulder. Levi stares up at him and he’s still so angry and the tension between his eyebrows won’t dispel until Erwin touches the furrow of wrinkles, smooths it with his fingers and then his lips. His mouth trails down and Levi could go into shock from that alone and he finally, finally reaches for Erwin, his hold tight and grounding.

They move to the bed in silence, all linked hands and eyes.

When Levi unbuttons Erwin’s shirt a near-howl of grief claws into his throat but he clamps it down, and he doesn’t even know where it came from, he hasn’t cried in years, but seeing that damn reminder of Levi’s failure, of Erwin’s impermanence–

Erwin stiffens at the look on Levi’s face, self-conscious, uncertain, and Levi chides himself for the selfish reaction. He wraps tight arms around Erwin’s chest, presses sure lips to Erwin’s scarred shoulder. Erwin buries his nose in Levi’s hair and he lets loose a harsh, shaking breath.

Clouds shelter the moon, shielding them from time. It might have been hours. It might have been days. Levi wished they had days.

Erwin trembles, after.

Every inch of his bare skin radiates heat and he can’t catch his breath and his arm trembles with the effort of holding himself up. Levi breaks the silence with gentle shushing sounds, running his hands through Erwin’s sweat-mussed hair.

“Levi–”

“Shh.” He wraps his arms around Erwin’s shoulders, laying him to rest against his heart. “It’s alright.”

Erwin embraces him at the waist, holding him close as he can, and still he trembles. Levi shivers too, his skin sensitive. He never knew he could feel like this.

“I’m sorry.”

“Erwin, don’t–”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, over and over. “I’m sorry.”

It sounds like confession and it scares Levi. They hold each other tighter.

“I’m sorry too,” Levi says after a while, when Erwin sleeps and the clouds scatter over the sinking moon.


End file.
